By in Animals

I am Sorry

We all find ourselves in the positon of apologizing for our actions and also being asked to accept an apology and grant forgiveness. I can be very quick to grant forgiveness, but if the apology doesn't strike me as genuine I tend to be rather more hesitant. In my opinion, not all apologies are created equal. Some are easy to accept some seem more like a thinly veiled insult. It is come to my attention of late that some people don't see the difference that a slight shift in wording makes. How about you? Are the apologies "I'm sorry your feelings are hurt" and "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." The same or do they convey significantly different messages? What do you think, and what is your reasoning for feeling that way?

Yes, they are essentially the same.

1 votes / 5% 1 votes / 5 %

No, there is a definite difference.

16 votes / 94% 16 votes / 94 %
This poll has received 17 vote(s) so far.

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AdrienneJenkins wrote on June 23, 2014, 10:17 AM

FYI --- You may want to delete this and re-post. No title is appearing.

momathome wrote on June 23, 2014, 10:28 AM

As with the misunderstandings of the other day, wording is very important whether its an apology, statement, policy or any type of communication. When we chose our words, its important that we take into consideration how they could be interrupted by others.

elitecodex wrote on June 23, 2014, 11:08 AM

Yeah regretfully we don't have a way of editing polls... but if you would like I can certainly manually put in the title for you if you want. Just send me an email and I'll take care of it.

SandraLynn wrote on June 23, 2014, 11:56 AM

We are working mightily on this with the kiddo right now. Going further, we are teaching about how actions speak so much louder than words when the "I'm sorry"'s become rote after a time. One can only say it, and and another can only hear it, SO MANY times before action is required to show that sorry is truly meant. And words do matter, greatly! Works in progress we are :) always! Good poll :)

Platespinner wrote on June 23, 2014, 1:11 PM

argh. I botched it effectively didn't I. I even managed to have it end up in animals instead of relationships. Maybe I should just go back to bed emoticon :winking:

Platespinner wrote on June 23, 2014, 1:13 PM

I tried to make a point with my kids that a blanket "I'm sorry" was not acceptable, I need to know specifically what they are sorry for. It helped to make sure they understood exactly what it was they did wrong as well. Unfortunately my husband doesn't recognize the difference. He apologizes for my reaction to whatever it was that he did....

Platespinner wrote on June 23, 2014, 1:15 PM

Thanks, I sent in a contact form. Any chance you could also move it from animals to relationships? I need to pay closer attention to details!

JanetHunt wrote on June 23, 2014, 9:28 PM

I have received those insincere apologies before and know that there is a definite difference!

DorothyGale wrote on June 24, 2014, 10:25 AM

I love polls, and I totally agree with you on the issue of the wording of an apology. When someone says, "I'm sorry your feelings are hurt" they're essentially saying they're sorry you're having an issue that's creating a problem between the two of you. Arrgggg!

Ruby3881 wrote on June 27, 2014, 11:03 AM

I always feel an apology is empty if the person giving it won't own up to what they've done, so a second-person apology (sorry YOU got hurt, as opposed to sorry I hurt you) seems pretty empty to me. I read that kind of apology more like, "I'm sorry I got caught," or "I'm just saying this to appease you, but I really don't think I did anything wrong."

The problem is that we are a society of people who never own any of our feelings. Even, "I love you," isn't really about the speaker revealing his own feelings. Instead it's more of an expectation that the listening will return the sentiment regardless of how that person actually feels...

Susie wrote on June 27, 2014, 2:39 PM

I think its is important to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong..." because if I said something that hurt someone's feelings, I was wrong. Or, that person was just over sensitive at the time.

suziecat7 wrote on July 11, 2014, 7:51 PM

Interesting that how we say things is just as important as what we say. Nice to see you here.

BarbRad wrote on August 1, 2014, 4:08 AM

I agree. If you really were wrong, it's also a good idea to ask the person to forgive you as a step to restoring the relationship.

paigea wrote on October 28, 2014, 3:07 PM

There is a definite difference. I am not very good at making apologies I must admit.