Ode to My Father
Whether with heartache or death, it is hard to move on with our lives. We can say that it is easy from a third person perspective, however I've experienced death in the family. Not a relative that's so dear to me but it was someone who was part of my life since I breathed the first breeze of air. It was my father.
It was 6 years ago that he passed away. We were grief-stricken. No words can express the loss that I felt. It was the worst thing in the world for me. Losing an arm or leg is painful but losing someone so close and dear can be paralleled to having lost everything in your life. It was the most difficult thing to deal with. I've had a lot of failures in my life, yet I moved on with my life. I will never be okay. I wish I will be one day but I will always long for his presence. I miss his laugh, his jokes that were too far-fetched from my universe, our TV hang-out with Jack Bauer, unplanned dine-outs. There are so many things that I missed doing with you even if we have our disagreements. I was given three precious decades to spend quality time with you. Five or more years I wasted because of growing up. Life is and will always be unfair. The moment when I love spending time with you was the time that you were taken away from me. Not a day that will pass that won't forget you. How can I? Unless life would want to be cruel with me again and totally erase you from my memory, then that's the time where I would be forcibly pushed by my biological clock to move on.
I say that as long as I am sane and not afflicted with Alzheimer's, I will feel the hole in my heart that you carved. Yes, I am overly sentimental and nostalgic. Six years feels like centuries without you. I would one day be okay but I will never ever forget you.