By in Writing

The Theater: a Tanka Verse

indexer challenged us to write a Tanka, which is a form of Japanese verse or poetry similar to a Haiku. I’ve written Haikus over the years, but never tried a Tanka before. I thought I’d take him up on his challenge.

The poem has to be written in the following format:

5-7-5-7-7

Five syllables in the first line
Seven syllables in the second line
Five in the third line
and seven syllables in the last two lines

No rhyming allowed

The no rhyming rule made it harder for me because almost all of my poems rhyme. I did it though and I actually like what I came up with. What do y’all think?

The theater lures
Beckons you with lights and sound
Come and see us, all
Lights, camera and action roll
Come, sit, and enjoy the show

All text and photos are the property of Angel Sharum.


Image Credit » Photo by Angel Sharum (me)

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Comments

indexer wrote on July 28, 2014, 3:51 PM

I would say that your fourth line has eight syllables!

AngelSharum wrote on July 28, 2014, 4:00 PM

If you are talking about camera, it can be said both ways according to the dictionary. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/camera I had to look enjoy up for that reason. When I say it, it sounds like 3 syllables...lol

paigea wrote on July 28, 2014, 4:03 PM

that is a great Tanka. Maybe I will try this later. Time to go out in the garden and do some thinking. :D

trisha_1.618 wrote on July 28, 2014, 5:53 PM

So nice! I am surprised I have not heard of this kind of verse. My dad was born and raised in Kobe, Japan until he was 18 so all us kids always wrote Haiku. I will put one up for you that I wrote when I was a kid, but still love...as soon as I find it.

AngelSharum wrote on July 28, 2014, 7:13 PM

Good deal. I'll look forward to reading yours.

AngelSharum wrote on July 28, 2014, 7:14 PM

Good deal. I can't wait to see it. I wrote a Haiku last year that I really like. It is up on the other site so I can't share it here.

bestwriter wrote on July 29, 2014, 12:53 AM

I too think so. Camera has indeed 3 syllables. Even then lights 1 camera 3 and 1 action 2 roll 1 :)

AngelSharum wrote on July 29, 2014, 12:16 PM

Did you look at the link I provided from webster dictionary? Camera can be either two or three syllables.

LisaSteinmetz wrote on July 30, 2014, 4:45 PM

Great job! I have written Haiku's before, but I'm not really good at them.