Where Did That Motivation Go?
I was going to save this for tomorrow or this week, but eh, I'll post it now. It's a bit of venting I wanna do, and I don't wanna post it elsewhere.
So I was reading through old posts on here, I guess as one may do when they haven't been around in a few years. The posts about my freelance writing has caught my eye. Where did that motivation go?
I remember the days of working for a steady client on Zerys. I was sent work every week from 2012 to 2015, when the agency that provided the work shut down.
Now, I've found other clients to work for since then, mainly on Textbroker. It's a mixture of open orders and writing teams. Some post weekly, others only monthly. I love how it's provided a variety, from restaurant and website descriptions to the home/apartment topics I'm used to.
I'm not saying I'm never motivated to work either. I love what I do, but I've had more unmotivated days than I care to admit. Maybe it's my sleep schedule, or maybe I need to isolate myself more when working. Maybe I just miss my old client and the work they provided. I enjoy the clients and my orders, and there are certain clients who put a smile on my face when they show up. I also like knowing I am not relying on just one client, as that was a big mistake for those three years. But there's always that time of checking the board and hoping they've added work on time.
There is something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. A certain motivation that came when I'd receive those direct orders from that client, or find 200 jobs on the board. I want THAT MOTIVATION back. I want to be the writer I was when I'd work on a bunch of orders in one day, and still finish at a decent time, and would be ready to go the next day. I want to be that person who could meet her weekly quota a day earlier (which would actually work for Textbroker, as that'd be cash-out night). There are days where I'm more motivated than others and ready to zoom through everything, and some days it's a struggle and I find myself procrastinating or finishing late. I know that can happen with any job, but still, I want that motivation back.
I don't want it to seem like I don't like freelance writing, or working from home, anymore, because of course I still enjoy it. That's WHY I want that old motivation back. But I just feel like something needs to change to get myself back to where I once was in terms of motivation. Maybe I need to sit down and think about what really motivated me (topics, money, etc.) those three years. I used to babysit while writing, so I had a routine going, certain things were done by certain times of the day. Maybe I need to get myself back on a routine, as it's easy to fall out of that when you're only writing and not babysitting. Maybe I need to change my "expertise" categories on Zerys too, in hopes of more clients finding me (if there are even any left, as a part of me wonders if Zerys is hanging on by a thread). I've been active on Fiverr for several months. I have a weekly client, maybe I should talk to them about increasing the workload per week. I also want to have my fourth gig posted before 2019.
I'm not entirely sure where to begin, but I need to think about my life as a freelance writer then and now, and see what I can do to get that old motivation back. Lately, I don't always feel like I'm living up to the worker I once was, but it's up to me to change it.
Anyways, I'm not sure what else to say without repeating myself. I just wanted to get that off my chest, and I feel more comfortable putting it here than anywhere else. If you read it, then thank you for listening. Have a good night/morning, and take care.
Image Credit » I made this graphic using PhotoImpact 6.