When You Die, Will There Be an Obituary?
Do I ask an odd question? a question that makes you uncomfortable?
I am older. Some might say I am not that old, yet my friends are dying. And I am already older than my parents were when they met their end.
Recently, I sought, not one, but two obituaries for people I have known. The results were entirely disappointing and disheartening.
I inquired of others, and in one of the cases, I was told the woman who died wanted to keep her dying to herself.
Now no one will question that such a perspective is completely within the rights of the individual.
But is it loving? Is it kind? Is it considerate?
I think not.
When someone I've known has died, I want to remember them. More than that, I want to know who they were, not just who I thought they were. I want them to help me know, as well as remember, them. Am I being selfish in this? I don't think so.
Yet, I found no obituary. Nothing more than - with a great deal of searching - an acknowledgment they had, indeed, died. Did that knowledge touch my heart? Did it fill within me the need to think deeply about them? Did it help me firmly imprint on my heart how much I am going to miss them?
No. It left me empty. At some level, it left me resentful. I want to always remember those I've loved, those who are now lost to me in life.
Now chances are, I have never gotten to know YOU. But will you be kind, thoughtful, loving toward those whom you will leave behind you when YOU die?
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