By in Humor

I 'Bout Had a Heart Attack

Ah, my wife, my wife!

Well, last night I was pretty well zapped and looking forward to a good night's sleep. So I prepare myself and get ready for 40 winks.

I ought to tell you we have a large, very furry, buff-colored cat we call "Lord Buffington". Well, lately he's discovered my bed's a pretty nice place for a cat,too, though I don't allow him to remain in my room at night, because he'll get me up too early in the morning... Well, enough about Buff.

So I go to climb into the bed and spot *GASP* 5 bloated TICKS! (I'm coming, Elizabeth...). [Quote from Redd Foxx on Sanford & Son.]

I was so freaked out. So I scooped 'em up to look at 'em in the light. Pshew! They're not ticks. What then, bed bugs? Double pshew!! No. They were rather large, hard seeds. Or so I thought.

Along with the rest of the juicy conversation my wife and I had this morning, I told her of the "bugs".

She just started laughing. Imagine the nerve. Laughing. Then she uttered the words: "I'm sorry. I put out a few pieces of dry cat food for Buff. I forgot to see if he'd eaten them."

"Oh, you're going to the moon, Alice. You're going to the moon." [Quote from Ralph Kramden to his wife Alice on The Honeymooners .]

Image Credit » Pixabay

You will need an account to comment - feel free to register or login.


MegL wrote on January 7, 2018, 1:00 PM

Cat food in bed? Imagine if the cat HAD eaten it - crumbs! I hate crumbs in bed.

VinceSummers wrote on January 7, 2018, 3:05 PM

Know what I hate? Sand. Don't ask me why, but since I wear my socks to bed (because of cold feet), grains of sand always manage to find their way to the bottom of my bed.

MegL wrote on January 7, 2018, 3:27 PM

We live near the sea and in the summer, I can find sand in my bed! That's not comfortable either!

lookatdesktop wrote on January 9, 2018, 10:19 PM

cat food? Oh My word. Such a thing. I have to laugh. :)

VinceSummers wrote on January 10, 2018, 7:38 AM

I would have laughed, ordinarily. Instead, I experience a sigh of relief...

lookatdesktop wrote on January 10, 2018, 9:08 PM

And, of course, that makes me laugh even more!