By in Humor

Experiencing a Bidet in the UK?

You've heard of potty or bathroom humor? Well, I'm not a huge fan. But I have to make an exception. I apologize in advance to my UK audience. Or maybe we can just share the laugh.

My wife and I were having a discussion about the joys of using bathroom facilities during old age. I won't "gross you out" with that conversation. But during that, I mentioned the different approach used in the UK.

It's called a bidet, presumably from the French, though I tried looking it up under b'day, which is how it is uttered across the big pond. I had a good laugh when it said it was short for a birthday. I wonder how many candles that calls for?

So I asked my wife, WHY do the Brits use a bidet? I realize it can avoid certain problems to use it, but it just seems SO WEIRD. She said it was because of the shortage of paper.

My wife is an amazing person. How did she know that? Really? She's not a well-read person, and she'd be the first person to tell you she is not cosmopolitan! But she's always fooling me on these things. Amazing bits of obscure information always protrude out of her mouth.

I knew there was a shortage of trees in Ireland because the Brits chopped 'em all down for their use, which must mean they had a shortage, but that never translated in my mind to a shortage of toilet paper in the present!

Then I asked my wife, after they get sprayed by a bidet, what do they do to dry off if there is no tissue? She thinks, probably a cloth. So I asked what do they do with those cloths? I had this vision of a towel hanging next to the bidet, but who wants to share a towel used in such fashion with Billy Bob or Aunt Nellie? So she suggested individual cloths, which are then laundered. Do you know? And, hey!

Do you have such conversations in your household?

Image Credit » Pixabay

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VinceSummers wrote on January 7, 2018, 8:58 AM

Ah! Wikipedia says: Bidets are becoming increasingly popular with the ageing community, or for use among people with physical disabilities.

MegL wrote on January 7, 2018, 9:09 AM

LOL. We do not have a bidet (pronounced bee day) in our house and no one I know has one either, though they are available quite easily. I had never heard of them until I went to France for a holiday with my parents and siblings, over 50 years ago. We first encountered them in a service station on a petrol (gas) stop driving through France to Spain. We children and teens had no idea what they were for and if my mother knew, she wasn't saying. There were 3 families travelling together and one of the other mothers suggested they could be for washing your feet! The word bidet is French and the French, I understand, consider them to be hygienic. There is plenty of toilet paper here; I have noticed no lack in my lifetime and that is what I used the few times I used one.

VinceSummers wrote on January 7, 2018, 9:48 AM

Thanks for the clarifications, Meg. I intend N-E-V-E-R to use a bidet, even if it does solve certain issues...

MegL wrote on January 7, 2018, 1:03 PM

I quite liked them but didn't find them a necessity!

lookatdesktop wrote on January 9, 2018, 10:17 PM

My father had one installed at his home and it was something he liked to have as it provided a better cleansing.

VinceSummers wrote on January 10, 2018, 7:37 AM

Hence the theme of this little piece. Written out a discussion concerning old age and its challenges.

lookatdesktop wrote on January 10, 2018, 9:07 PM

My father, had almost complete paralysis and had to be lifted by a conveyor on and off the toilet and back on his wheel chair. He was happy to have the lubidet. He was moved off and on the bed and such using a conveyor system called a barrier-free lift, installed by the people working with his medical case at home. He suffered from Post Polio Syndrome. 10 years before this he was able to get around on his own in a wheel chair and long before that he was perfectly able to walk on a crutch since early childhood. So, the bidet is a good thing for those who are in a bad way like that.

VinceSummers wrote on January 10, 2018, 9:34 PM

Wow. And post polio syndrome. Did he live in Virginia and obtain Polio? If so, what part of Virginia. I have a semi-theory of sorts.