Someone wants to move in with us and there is simply no room and we value our privacy.
My stepson is interested in becoming involved with a much younger woman and she insists on wanting to move in with us but we do not want him or her or both to move in because we do not want or need extra people living in our small home.
It is sad because by telling him we can not live with 4 people or more in the house but value our privacy too much, made him angry and he hung up on his mother over the phone because she and I told him that, in spite of her being in a rehab and him getting over drinking and going to AA meetings, it would be impossible to live with 2 extra adults, rather, a second couple, a generation apart from us to come to Dallas for the sole purpose of TAKING CARE OF US. as We don't need taking care of.
I could not and my wife could not tolerate having to live in our small house with the stepson and his new girl friend living with us. So because of this, he told us, If I can't and my wife can't accept her he will have nothing more to do with either of us and hung up on his mother, my wife, out of anger. But is that really fair?
I am glad he is making good money now as a long haul truck driver and getting off on weekends to be with his girl friend and so forth. But We also have a life and it doesn't include being crowded in our home with her and possibly her two young kids, living in our house at our age. I am 60 and my wife and I both are pretty settled into a lifestyle that would be very unpleasant to have to deal with the needs of two small children and a wife who has no job and who would be home without her boyfriend, even possibly looking toward marriage in the near future, as their expectations, habits, way of life would intrude and conflict with our way of life so it is in our best interest to let them know how we feel about them hanging out with us. I mean, It may sound like we don't care but we actually do but at a distance. They need to live their lives and let us live ours and it would disrupt our life style if we were to accept their living in our home even for a short time.
What is your opinion of this? Would you want to share your life in a two bedroom house, with two other adults who might also have a few children, all under one roof? If it's going to be like this, to be told he don't want anything more to do with us, isn't that basically selfish of him to give us such an ultimatum? He basically said, if we don't accept her we don't accept him and he wants to write us off. Well, sounds like he already has made up his mind. Why can't he and her just live in their own little house and just visit us on occasion . I mean, get real. It's not like we share anything in common. We are older than they are by over 20 years and we are adjusted to living together as a married couple. I am not willing to give up my privacy and life style to accommodate having other people living in our environment such as it is. Besides. It is more her idea than his. She seems to think that after a year more of rehabilitation from drug abuse that she will actually just stop and turn over a new leaf?
Well, fine, but not at our expense. I like living with my wife on our own terms, not being essentially guardians of my wife's son's step children. Give me a break.
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