By in Humor

Where's The Twelfth?

Today is the 12th of July

It's probably that date where you live too. Here in Northern Ireland, 12th of July is a public holiday. All the banks are shut and many shops and businesses. It's a holiday. It's not a holiday elsewhere in these islands and the reason for the holiday may be contentious for some people, however, it is part of local culture. As I want to tell a joke, you will need this background in order to understand it and the understanding has to come first or you will not "get" the joke. If you want to know more about the holiday and why people march, then Google is your friend. Search online for Orangemen and marching season and King William of Orange. There's a good page on it on but possibly not everyone will be able to access it.


The 12th of July is a big day for marching parades in Northern Ireland and is known colloquially as "The Twelfth". All the Orange Lodges march and each year on the Twelfth, they hold joint marches in a big town, where the Orangemen from different lodges come together and hold a big march in the town centre. It's a different town each year for each area. Some of the towns where big marches take place are Limavady, Larne, Markethill, Coleraine, Banbridge and many other towns.


Some tourists came to Northern Ireland early one July to play golf because there are some beautiful and famous golf courses there and some famous golfers from Northern Ireland too. The tourists stopped at a big golf course and got a local caddy to take them for a round of golf. They had played eleven holes and one of the tourists looked around him and said, "Now, where's the twelfth?" At which the local caddy spoke up and said, "I think it's at Limavady this year."

I hope you "got" it!


The photograph was taken this morning, 12th July 2017, as the local Orangemen set out for their parade.

Image Credit » (c) MegL my own photograph, taken 12th July 2017

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VinceSummers wrote on July 12, 2017, 3:22 PM

Uh, no.

melody23 wrote on July 12, 2017, 3:45 PM

Although I am in Scotland, the 12th of july is a day I avoid leaving the house if at all possible, actually pretty much every Saturday in july needs to be avoided (and the 12th if its not a Saturday) if you do not want stuck behind one of these parades. I was stuck in town for an hour last year! In Glasgow it still causes a lot of trouble, they are thinking of banning it apparently.

MegL wrote on July 12, 2017, 7:03 PM

I thought any readers in Scotland might "get" it.

MegL wrote on July 12, 2017, 7:03 PM

Sorry Vince, maybe you have to live in Northern Ireland to "get" it.

MegL wrote on July 13, 2017, 8:38 AM

I think I know why people not from here may not have "got" the joke. I have edited the article slightly to add this point in. Hopefully, it will seem funny now. :)

VinceSummers wrote on July 13, 2017, 8:44 AM

Thumbs up. I get it now. Now if you'd have said the Fifth, I'd have said, "Check the mantelpiece." (Just kidding, btw.)

MegL wrote on July 13, 2017, 8:49 AM

Now it's my turn to be puzzled. "Fifth" to me suggests either the Fifth Amendment to the US constitution or a unit of alcohol but I can't quite get the reference to the mantelpiece.

VinceSummers wrote on July 13, 2017, 2:46 PM

The fifth of liquor. Some old TV shows illustrate it residing on a small table or the mantelpiece.

MegL wrote on July 13, 2017, 7:37 PM

Ah. gotcha!

lookatdesktop wrote on July 14, 2017, 12:08 AM

I didn't get it but I don't get a lot of things. lol. As to the fifth, I might like to get that.

melody23 wrote on July 14, 2017, 4:38 PM

We don't have as many issues with it here as you guys do there, but especially in Glasgow its really bad. Its horrible actually

MegL wrote on July 14, 2017, 5:05 PM

I am happy to say that this year it was mainly peaceful everywhere. Even the Police commented on how peaceful it had been.

melody23 wrote on July 15, 2017, 3:13 AM

That's great! They are talking about banning the walk here - which to be honest I think they should do because it causes trouble every year. What gets me is that the people who fight about it don't even know what it is they are fighting about, most of them think its about football!!!