By in Personal

That old man in the mirror looks familiar.

Standing in front of the medicine cabinet mirror looking back at my self I pause to reflect on all the years that have flown by so fast.

When I was 22, I looked at my reflection and realized, that guy is getting older.

Today, I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and saw a person I did not quite recognize.

No, I don't have memory loss or any kind of dementia. The mirror tells you what it really sees and it is often kind of surprising to take time to reflect on just how old we look, after all those years have flown by at such a fast pace, like birds flying up there in the clouds on high.

Not very long ago, our plumber, also getting up there in years, once told me I looked so much like my father. I was wondering if by this he was referring to my age or my looks or both, perhaps both.

So I once told my plumber, the darndest thing, I said he reminded me of Santa. He didn't very much like that. I have since bit my tongue for saying this to him. But in retrospect, I guess, It's tit for tat, so to speak.

I began to get the idea that I was no longer a youthful young man. No. No way! I am 59 already!

My older brother reminds me of Bruce Dern in that movie called, 'Nebraska', his long hair and beard looked to me about the same on Bruce Dern in that movie as my older brother looked, trying to return to his early days as a biker for the Outcasts, a motorcycle gang that he soon left because of the fact they were pretty rough natured and he, my older brother just wanted to belong to something bigger than himself. So while looking more like Methusilah, that old man in the Bible I think, he was looking less like his former self, a clean shaven, trim and nice looking young boy who was actually an altar boy in the Catholic church.

I digress. I am talking about the way time changes us in our manners of behavior as well as our changes in appearance. We often get our height checked at the doctor's office visit each and every time we get weighed and our blood pressure taken as if to say, with time, we not only get older but we tend to shrink a bit.

But every time I go get my vitals taken about every 6 months, I am asked repeatedly, 'What is your full name and date of birth?' So for this reason I must add that they not only expect you to shrink with age, but become senile too.

So having looked into that mirror, I don't really like what I see, but the young person inside me keeps saying, it's all just a dream anyway. Life is but a dream. Row your boat, so to speak. But more than that, I realize I am not the same person I was in the mirror or in real life a decade or so ago, I am still me. I feel about the same, only certain aspects of aging are beginning to take place and I really don't like it much but have to be an adult about this. I know I am older now. I know it. The man in the mirror is looking back at me with a forlorn look and I can see that he is tired and not as chipper as his old self.

I walk away from the mirror and just tell myself, 'It's a nice old man in the mirror who just needs to smile a bit and not frown so much.'

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MegL wrote on January 19, 2017, 6:51 PM

I know that feeling! I still feel the same inside as the young girl going into secondary education (your high school) and wondering whether she would ever be as "grown up" as the girls in the fourth form and realising over the years that "I" NEVER grew up in the way I expected, it was always just that young girl inside and she is still there. So how did this old woman come to start looking back at me?

Squidwhisperer wrote on January 27, 2017, 11:46 PM

Hear you - completely. I'm 59 as well. But the other side of this thing is that we could live another 30 years, such that this little bump - approaching 60 - is just a blip. The work that I think you and I and others of our "ilk" must attend to is doing all we can to not let the world slip backwards - i.e. - by way of pathological liars like Trump