"Silence can be an effective tool when confronted with criticism."--Svein Jentoft
Before, when anger seethes and I am ready to explode, my beloved elephant goes wild and starts thumping its feet. But to no avail, my elephant will always fail to stop me. I was always more quick. I counter attack and explode in words, action and other bodily displays. At work, the result was opportunities being lost and given to other staff; and at home it will mean days and even weeks with no one wanting to speak with me.
I will always know that I had gone overboard, when I feel an instantaneous seething pain in my back, straight like a lightning, striking from my neck going downwards. I would also had bouts of guilt on nights on end, re-living and re-playing what transpired, giving out excuses and explanations to justify that I was right. This I do over and over...
Believe me when I say that reacting that way is very draining. It's very painful to say the least; physically it's very unhealthy; but it is even more emotionally distressful.
I have been learning to control my reactions for years now. And I observe that when I lapse into this mode, the bouts are becoming less painful.
But I am still a work in progress.
My elephant? He has been helping tremendously and actually "recruited" his friends for support, just like what I have written in this post: Kick-Them-Out
Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/way-autumn-landscape-colors-nature-1138308/ by DzidekLasek