By in Parenting

Kiss It and Make It Better

When you first hold your newborn child, promising to love and protect them forever, you can hardly think about them being six months old, let alone 20 years or more later when they are adults.

There are bumps and bruises along the way. We kiss away the tears, and make things better, and get them through their childhood, and teen-aged years. We do all we do the best we know how.

Of course, at 20-years-old, they are on their own paths. They know better. We, as parents, who are now rather "dumb," can only hope that what we have taught and the advice that we have passed along has been taken to heart, and not fallen on deaf ears.

We might also hope that our child is not as stubborn, as we once were in complete disregard for anyone who might have an answer or advice other than that which is in alignment with the only option considering--"my way."

Fast-forward 20 more years and your child is now in his or her 40s. It has been a long time since you have been able to hold him or her in your arms and kiss away the tears, making it "all better."

You still want to protect them. Sometimes, they still ask for advice, but they still have to do it with the "my way" mentality, because (god-forbid) Dad or Mom may know something. They (the adult child) will lash out and be angry, accusing the parent of saying, "I told you so," when all along it has nothing to do with the parents, but the realization that they were right all along.

"Step on in, embarrassment! Move over, shame!"

It will be a cold day in hell before the words, "I am sorry," will pass through the lips of the one who looks so much like you. Many an adult child has choked on these words.

If we are all lucky, the child will turn 55 or 60, and the parent will still be alive to see the day when it feels softer, more loving, and reminiscent of the days when you were able to look out for your child.

Except this time, they may be mature enough to kiss away the tears and make things better before it is too late to do so with you.

2015--Coral Levang

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Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/baby-feet-hands-baby-hand-keep-402844/ by frankbeckerde

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Comments

DWDavisRSL wrote on December 26, 2015, 10:49 PM

So far with our boys we have been very lucky that they still seek and often take our advice about important things. We always try to present our opinion carefully, and as an alternative, rather than the "right" way compared to their "wrong" way.

CoralLevang wrote on December 26, 2015, 11:12 PM

Absolutely...you know, one of the things I always instilled in my daughter was "here are the options, what do you think?" Taught her about civil disobedience, doing what you believe is right, living with the consequences, and also asking for help and being sorry for when you hurt others, and facing into it.

She got most of them. I'm not sure on a couple.

LeaPea2417 wrote on December 27, 2015, 12:59 AM

It doesn't matter how old they become, they will always be our little babies.

CalmGemini wrote on December 27, 2015, 1:38 AM

If I am to really comment on this post,it will become a post in itself.So I would just say-spot on.

MegL wrote on December 27, 2015, 2:48 AM

Oh yes, time improves a lot of things but it's still hard to say, "you were right".

BarbRad wrote on December 27, 2015, 2:54 AM

And sometimes these things are never resolved and the child leaves this world unhappy before you do and it's too late. I hope Sarah realized we loved her. She did trust us to bury her next to her brother when we didn't have to and she hadn't spoken to us in 14 years.

wolfgirl569 wrote on December 27, 2015, 10:01 AM

Many just have to try to find their own way. My oldest boy would listen and when he was just 18 I got to hear you were right Mom I am sorry. But my youngest at 3 still knows it all lol. Maybe when he gets 60 or more

cheri wrote on December 27, 2015, 12:21 PM

My kids are still young and we pamper them with good words and proper guidance we think best for them. We hope that things will be all right when they grow up and be on their own.

CoralLevang wrote on December 27, 2015, 12:22 PM

wolfgirl569 If your 3-year-old knows it all, then you have a smart toddler.

CoralLevang wrote on December 27, 2015, 12:49 PM

And that is what we can all do.... HOPE that things will be all right, knowing that we have, as parents, done our best.

wolfgirl569 wrote on December 27, 2015, 3:17 PM

lol did not catch that 30

markgraham wrote on December 27, 2015, 8:03 PM

To me this is all about gaining wisdom in our learning through life.