By in Humor

I gave my retirement fund to the church

Why is it that you learn the same exact few things,

in all christian religions?

I'm not talking the spiritual stuff...

That is between each man (woman) & the God they worship...

I'm talking the two golden rules of being a "member in good faith"....

They are:

1.) It is always more blessed to give, than to receive.

2.) Don't forget to give us 10% of your stuff, for teaching you that.

The Churches funds grow...

The people are blessed?

Wait....

If they had put that same 10% into their retirement fund,

they would have retired at 50 years old...

If they had invested that money as a group,

the funds would have become their own retirement plan...

By not doing as above the Church is the only person who made money,

or rather lost money, because there is no return on this lifetime 10% investment...

I'm not greedy at all...

I'm also not wealthy...

Yet, if I could convince a bunch of people to all pitch in 10% of their stuff,

so that I could live well,

and all I got to do is tell them that "God loves them"???

Welcome to the sanctuary of the irreverent rev. VanMann...

Ya'll can just send me 10% of your stuff through payPal,

because God Loves You Man...


Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/church-glass-church-window-colorful-470632/ by aloiswohlfahrt

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Comments

DWDavisRSL wrote on November 21, 2015, 10:40 PM

I have always found it interesting that the model for giving 10% to the church was the 10% given to Melchizedek by Abraham after Abraham and his family had fooled a town's men folk into circumcising themselves so that Abraham and his men folk could come into the town and murder them all without a fight. Then, in the Arab custom, Abraham gave a tenth of the war spoils as a one time gift to Melchizedek. I have often wondered how Melchizedek was a priest of God at a time when Abraham and his extended family were the only monotheists around.

wolfgirl569 wrote on November 21, 2015, 11:12 PM

I cant give to you as I am running my own church. May you be blessed by the goddess

MegL wrote on November 22, 2015, 3:10 AM

How about tithing YOURSELF 10% of your income? That's basically the premise in the (very interesting) book "The richest man in Babylon". He talks about paying yourself first and living on the remainder of your income. I think you are probably doing this with your purchase of land and plans to build a tiny house?

markgraham wrote on November 22, 2015, 9:30 AM

This is a very nice editorial piece. You always get to the point.

CoralLevang wrote on November 23, 2015, 1:29 PM

Ah, yes! The most irreverent Reverend VanMan! You certainly do make a great point here in this editorial.

LeaPea2417 wrote on January 3, 2016, 12:55 AM

You have made an excellent point. You should write this out and send to as many churches as possible and see how they respond!