By in Personal

Hard Past Few Months

As some of you who have read my posts back during the summer know, I had a rough patch with a guy who randomly stopped all communication with me because he was scared of how serious everything was getting. I still struggle with it, even though I have tried to move on but I guess you can't force yourself to forget someone because the heart wants what the wants.

I also don't recall if I mentioned this, but my grandmother on my mother's side passed away in July. Then in September my aunt (also on my mother's side and has been in hospice for the past few months) also died. Then today my mom just called me and told me my grandfather had died. Now, I am someone who has never dealt with people I know dying. The only person in my family who has died was my grandfather on my dad's side but that was when I was at the age of 1 or 2 so I don't remember him.

I am also someone who doesn't like to share what is going on in my life with friends, especially if it's deep like death, because what do you say to someone who tells you a family member of theres had died? I don't want others around me being sad for me.

But when I got the call I found it odd. For my mom had predicted that my grandfather would die since seems to come in pairs when it comes to elderly married couples, which makes me wonder if there is such a thing of dying from a broken heart. I always thought it was a made up thing, but now I don't know.

Can you from a ? Is it possible? Perhaps if you are extremely sad, it takes a toll on your organs and overall health. But I just find it strange.

I also feel terrible about it all because I have barely shed a tear over their deaths, but I know that they lived long, great lives and that they are no longer suffering. Overall, I feel more sadness for my mother who has lost half her immediate family (a sister and both her parents) all in a matter of 4 months.

On top of all that, I also had to give my cat away to my friends for a couple months until I graduate and then I'll have no idea what I'll be doing with my life. I'll say goodbye to all that I've come to know these past four years, such as friends and places. I'm just getting really tired of losing people and things. Out of all the times for things to fall apart, it turns out to be when I'm about to be completely on my own. I guess life is cutting ties for me, with both family and friends (the friends happening when I leave in a couple months and probably not seeing most of them ever again).


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Comments

Feisty56 wrote on October 26, 2015, 7:18 PM

I'm sorry for the recent losses in your life, from family members who have passed and your cat that you've placed with a friend temporarily. I want you to know that there is no wrong or right way to feel about any of this; you're not abnormal because you don't feel extremely sad over the deaths of people you feel lived long lives and are now free from their suffering. As to leaving college and losing touch with your friends, that is within your abilities to manage. Perhaps you'll choose to stay in touch with a few people, or maybe a larger group -- it's up to you and the other person, but I know plenty of people in their 60s and older who are yet in touch with friends from college.

allen0187 wrote on October 26, 2015, 7:35 PM

Hard to come up with what to say in cases such as this. Sadness, happiness, life and death are one and the same, viewed from different sides.

LeaPea2417 wrote on October 26, 2015, 11:24 PM

I am sorry for the losses in your family and yes I do think people can die due to a broken heart.

SyddyHud wrote on October 28, 2015, 10:16 PM

Thank you. Yes, I didn't really believe in dying from a broken heart until now.

SyddyHud wrote on October 28, 2015, 10:20 PM

Knowing that makes me feel a little better about friends in college. It is hard to picture how the future could go, but like you said, some things are within control such as keeping in touch with college friends, unless they don't want to keep in touch in which case you have to let them go if that's what they want. I suppose that is what my fear is since that happened with high school friends. After a while, you get too busy or antisocial just to even drop a "hey, how have you been these past few months" message on their social media site.