By in Humor

A Little Something to Tickle Your Funny Bone

A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"

The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves."


You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.

Image Credit » by OpenClipartVectors

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Paulie wrote on October 5, 2015, 11:53 PM

I especially liked the joke about the merry-go-around. Thanks for sharing!

MegL wrote on January 7, 2016, 7:04 AM

Very good. The panda one is a great play on the book eats, shoots and leaves but I hadn't heard the merry go round one before.