By in Random


Investing one's time and energy in people
Never results, but rarely, in a good return (as has been my experience).
Violation of one's heart closely resembles the rape of one's soul
In those moments when reality is hardest-hitting.
Silly me.
I do my damnedest to trust in concepts such as friendship, family, love, freedom and support,
Believing that the words are real and actions will be the proof this time.
Living alone or living lonely--each has its own distinctive characteristics, and
Even the most contented and successful fear they will die unnoticed.

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I wrote this acrostic poem sixteen months ago. The subject is not a feeling which has been foreign to me.

I often have felt invisible, unheard, ignored, rejected or abandoned. It is not because I have looked for those feelings, but because I was born into a time, a family, and a society where this was not uncommon. Of course, because it was what I knew, many of my choices as an adult helped to perpetuate more of the same.

By choosing better situations and people, and learning to communicate more effectively, I have become more adept at recognizing where I need to focus, and the people with whom I want to align. I am grateful, indeed.

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Copyright © 2015 Coral Levang

writing - - -

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morilla wrote on October 2, 2015, 9:48 PM

I wouldn't necessarily call myself content or, by the standards of many, 'successful.' However, you don't have to be a 'social butterfly' to have an impact and I don't 'fear' going unnoticed when I die. Part of this comes from being a teacher; i.e., teacher's don't always (in fact, rarely) get to see the true fruition, over time, of the impact they've had on the lives of individuals. One way or another, the fact that you exist and go about your daily life has an effect on things and people. That's why you should be doing the best you can do, making the best choices you can with the information you have available, then let the chips fall where they may (or let God handle the rest).

It's like the character J.B. Books (John Wayne, The Shootist ) said when asked if he'd like to see a reverend: "No. My soul is what I've already made of it." If you fear to die 'unnoticed,' then maybe you need to look at what you're doing while you live . Being alone and being lonely are different concepts; i.e., the former is a physical state, the latter a mental/emotional one. Even without human companionship, you can still make a difference. If you allow yourself to be consumed by feeling lonely and fearing being unnoticed, you can end up pushing yourself to doing 'something' and, as I recently noted, 'doing something' and doing the 'right thing(s)' are not necessarily synonymous.

DWDavisRSL wrote on October 2, 2015, 9:55 PM

I really enjoyed the poem. It hit on feelings I used to have, especially in my late teens and early twenties.

Paulie wrote on October 2, 2015, 10:53 PM

Judging from all of the posts you have written, you have learned to communicate from the heart very effectively.

markgraham wrote on October 2, 2015, 11:36 PM

Writing poetry is therapeutic. Reflection is what poetry is for reading it and writing it.

LoudMan wrote on October 2, 2015, 11:45 PM

Yeah, sometimes it just goes that way.

CoralLevang wrote on October 3, 2015, 5:24 AM

morilla I recognize all that you say as truth. I know, firsthand, that teaching "is a thankless job," as one of my professors told me years ago.
And I do not outwardly show the emotions of which I write. emoticon :smile:

CoralLevang wrote on October 3, 2015, 5:25 AM

Thanks, DW. I do not have them often, but still feel the pangs once in awhile.

CoralLevang wrote on October 3, 2015, 5:25 AM

Thank you, Paulie.

CoralLevang wrote on October 3, 2015, 5:27 AM

Mark...I appreciate your understanding of the impetus of the writing it.

CoralLevang wrote on October 3, 2015, 5:31 AM

I watched an episode of season 2 of Scandal tonight. And there was a dialogue between two characters that went something like this:
Olivia: You have to ask his forgiveness
Woman: And what if he doesn't forgive me?
Olivia: Then, you have to simply forgive yourself.
Woman: Sounds lonely.
Olivia: is.

Thanks, Don, for stopping in, reading, and sharing...

cheri wrote on October 3, 2015, 7:03 AM

I can relate to that poem. It just reminds me of those things I had experienced in the past

BarbRad wrote on October 3, 2015, 2:19 PM

I am sorry you grew up feeling that way. I grew up a much loved and wanted only child with a lot of positive adult attention. I'm not sure that prepared me for the real world. once I was out of college I never accomplished what I should have personally or professionally.