Feeling Bored and Obligated Is Your Choice
A couple of years ago, I received correspondence from an acquaintance who shared that he took his mother grocery shopping each Sunday. It is a ritual for them and, for helping her, she buys him groceries for the week.
He continued, "When I am with my mom and my brother, I am bored to death. But I do not want to hurt my mom's feelings."
I felt disturbed by his statement, as i t struck me that he did not value the time he spends with his mother.
There are times when we all do things that are less than exciting. Sometimes, they are downright painful, or "boring," as he called it. The impetus for him helping was strictly out of obligation to his mother, not wanting to feel the guilt for having hurt her feelings.
There are times when each of make this type of decision. We do not want to look bad in comparison to others, or in front of others. We buy into the notion of "should be" doing this or that because of the obligation we feel. Rather than say that we do not have the time, do not want to, do not see the value in, or any other reason it is okay not to want to do or say something, we swallow our words and agree to do what we do not want to do.
It becomes a black or white situation in which we have put ourselves. How else are we likely to feel other than bored, obligated, locked-in, slighted or guilty?
The answer may be to see the situation through a new lens, especially if we are going to make the decision to do what we do not want to do anyway. We must choose to look at the act of what we do differently.
My response to him:
"Do it because you love her...and for no other reason. There will come a time when you will not be able to do for her. You are giving her, but more importantly, you are giving yourself, a precious gift that you will cherish with all your heart some day."
It was a reminder to me that everything I do is a choice. How I view that choice will always be up to me.
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© Copyright 2015 - Coral Levang - All Rights Reserved.
Adapted from original written on February 18, 2014, and submitted to Bubblews, and later removed by the author.
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Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/dependent-dementia-woman-talk-826332/ by geralt