By in Random

Late Night Rambling: Writing, People, Intention and Change, and the Choices We Make

On Writing

I imagine that many who write or interact on the Internet maintain rather chaotic lives. Whether retired, unemployed, or working two jobs, each of us juggles so many things, and have this-or-that to fit in-between gaps and times.

We all have a life and relationships with which to deal, and we each write for reasons that are quite unique to us:

  • Some people write to analyze.
  • Some write to editorialize.
  • Some are "Pollyanna-ish" in their writing styles.
  • Others "poke the sleeping bears" that Pollyanna fears. Sometimes the bears wake up, and the Pokers realize they are ill-prepared to deal with the consequence.
  • Some write to wax poetic.
  • Others write to share history.
  • Some write to create fantasy.
  • Others write to complain, or speak ill of others.
  • Some will write to inspire.
  • Some of us write to share what we cannot otherwise share.
  • And many others write for many other reasons, some simply to write.

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On People

It is only by getting to know others--reading what they write, watching how they respond, listening to what they say, and paying attention to how they behave--that you will see patterns. You determine what you believe to be true about another to be able to judge adequately what you believe to be true about another person. Yes, I said, "judge."

Judgment begins with one's perception. It stems from a belief system that is based upon gathering what one thinks is enough "evidence" in any situation. Then it is viewed through the lens one develops by a life lived, the influence of the people around us, and what we have chosen to challenge or accept.

When we watch with an open mind, we discern whether or not it works for us, based on that perception. When we are in disagreement, some will make accusations of prejudice, judgement, or being mean-spirited. If we agree or keep silent, merely to "keep the peace," then we are agreeing to living a lie.

It is a dilemma for some. It is also a dynamic process. We have then chance to make different choices in the future, whether moment-to-moment or years from now. Other people are not required to agree with you or "tow the line," any more than you are required to do so.

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On Intention

All choices come with a result. Some call that a "consequence" and attach a negative connotation to it. Some will even orchestrate the payback, subverting any good that might have been possible otherwise.

My understanding of the world in which we live is that life is chaotic.

Perhaps, it is that I watch for patterns, over-analyze, and think too much. Some have told me that I "care too much." I admit that I try to encourage others to think outside of a box that other people have built for them.

Whatever I share openly of my personal life or of my heart, whether in writing or at workshops, in speeches or one-on-one conversations, is never done with an intent of gaining sympathy, bullying, or to shame. I intend to illuminate a situation or challenge others to use critical thinking skills.

My intent is ONLY to make people think. Sometimes I do it with humor, albeit satire and sarcasm. Other times with fact or fiction.

I am also keenly aware that most do not care to delve into thought, as deeply as I do. Most seem not willing to ask tough questions or hear tough answers. People, in general, do not want to think beyond what their eyes can see a few feet in front of them. I am equally aware that one's argument (from a perspective of philosophy, communication, and persuasion definition of the word) also comes from this limited willingness to engage in discourse, other than what they may know in their scope of experience.

This is what frustrates me the most in life and about people, some very good people. It hurts me to believe that most of the conversations in this world will not change an outcome. Human beings seem to choose more reasons to build walls than to break bread with one another. Too often, it stems from an unwillingness to think or communicate beyond that which they let fall out of their mouths or from their fingertips.

My desire is to propel myself toward alignment with others who "get me." Please notice that I did NOT say, "agree with me." I have heard some describe this as "finding one's tribe."

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On Change

As we go through life and the chaos we encounter along our journey, we are often alone as we move through, and decide what to do taking the next few steps. Sometimes, we have to leap. We cannot expect that others will always understand those decision.

We, as individuals, are the ones who can change. Not others. And if they choose to change, it has nothing to do with us. That is on them. Their decisions.

This is true in our personal relationships at home or at work, in business dealings, or in writing on the Internet. No matter where life takes any of us, taking personal responsibility is key. Sometimes, change is necessary.

"It is me, and only me, who will determine who I am. I am enough. If necessary,I will will change, by making choices that I deem best for me, and my situation."~~C.A.L.

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© 2015, Coral Levang All rights reserved.

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Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/laser-light-light-show-737441/ by geralt

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Comments

Paulie wrote on September 11, 2015, 3:11 AM

Thank you very much for sharing your philosophy in this post. It is all well-stated, and I wish I could express myself as well as you. I write to share my memories and also lessons which I have learned in life. I wish it were for the money.

Rufuszen wrote on September 11, 2015, 4:26 AM

I know where I am on the list. Quite happy with that.

jiangliu1949 wrote on September 11, 2015, 4:33 AM

The style is the man.Your posts tell us what you are like .I love reading your posts ,though sometimes they are too much for me to understand.

valmnz wrote on September 11, 2015, 5:34 AM

Oh my Coral, you were in a thoughtful mood tonight. I've made sufficient changes in recent years that I'm happy with where I'm at right now.

markgraham wrote on September 11, 2015, 9:41 AM

I write to share knowledge and ideas. Your article is very philosophical.

Feisty56 wrote on September 11, 2015, 11:19 AM

It seems that you have sorted through some of the thoughts that have been challenging you of late, although I would guess this is by far not an all-inclusive list.

Some years ago I read this idiom: "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions." That resonated with me. Although I try valiantly not to judge other people, I do from the definition that you've described here. It has become increasingly important to me to understand other people's perspectives and perceptions. I try to perceive the intention behind words, actions rather than just hear, see the result. Yikes, it is both difficult and rewarding -- and I think I am a more well-rounded individual internally than I had been before I began this quest. Still, I process all of that through the filters created in my mind through the decades of my experiences. There will never be perfection in the this for me, but the journey is so worthwhile.

MegL wrote on September 11, 2015, 3:03 PM

Yes, we see the world not as it is but as we are.

Telynor wrote on September 11, 2015, 10:42 PM

I write because there is a need in me to get it out, and writing seems to be the best way to say it. I learnt a long time ago that writing was a place where I would not be judged or sneered at, and so I need to do it. My therapist tells me that it is a great way to manage things, and so...

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:19 PM

Paulie I write also to share memories, lessons I have learned, and things I cannot say otherwise. As far as well-stated, I appreciate your kind words. I feel all over the place.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:19 PM

Rufuszen We all have our reasons. It's all good. emoticon :smile:

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:21 PM

jiangliu1949 I'm not quite sure what you mean by your first statement, but I want to thank you for your kind words. To let you in on a secret: *whispers* Some of my posts are too much for me to understand, too! emoticon :winking:

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:22 PM

valmnz Seems to be a "state" I am in recently. emoticon :smile:

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:23 PM

&AbbyG *laughs* Your last line has been my life...writing or speaking. emoticon :winking:

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:24 PM

markgraham I appreciate your posts for that knowledge. As far as mine and philosophical, perhaps that is my purpose? My head is still churning.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:33 PM

Feisty56 Again, your intuition is showing.

I appreciate that quote. The dilemma for me is in looking at my behavior, I can see whether others might view my intentions differently (perception); yet, I fall into the trap that their perceptions need dictate an altered behavior from me. Clearly it is related to the whole shame/guilt ideas of which I have spoken in past comments/writing. So, yes...difficult and rewarding ... the "both/and" vs. the "either/or"...
Perfection is an illusion. I am often finding myself questioning the value of the journey, sometimes.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:35 PM

MegL Ah, yes. A Stephen Covey quote that went on: "...or as we are conditioned to see it."
One of my favorite quotes from a favorite "teacher" of life.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:38 PM

Telynor I will have to see if I can drag out another past writing about "why I write." It may be elsewhere on the Web, so need to make sure it's not first.

As far as being judged / sneered at, I have found that there are people who still find ways to do that, but it doesn't seem quite as bad as face-to-face. I have also found that writing makes me think more, though....Not sure I manage things very well, unfortunately. emoticon :sad:

MegL wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:49 PM

It has been attributed to him but I understand it is a LOT older than that, maybe from the Talmud.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 12:52 PM

Yes....philosophy is not new. emoticon :smile:

PriscillaKing wrote on September 13, 2015, 5:30 PM

I think I write for all of those reasons...sometimes. (And sometimes it's strictly for money...last week I wrote a zombie story.)

Telynor wrote on September 13, 2015, 8:34 PM

I think you do just fine! From what I've read of you here on line, you're managing to get up every day and do what you need to do. That's big in my book.

CoralLevang wrote on September 13, 2015, 9:24 PM

Where did it post? Would love to read it.

BarbRad wrote on September 13, 2015, 11:49 PM

I'm afraid a lot of my brain cells are misfiring today, so this won't be half as comprehensive as your post. I write because I have something to say or because I have a deadline I have to meet. I always hope both will be true together, but I sometimes have to think up something to say to meet a deadline. I like to write something that will inspire or inform, but sometimes I just vent or share my day. I also like to make people think. As to change, I try to roll with the punches and trust God.

Paulie wrote on September 13, 2015, 11:57 PM

Throughout most of my life, I have been introverted and not much of a conversationalist. Perhaps if I was a better talker, I would be a much better writer. I think there is a correlation.

jiangliu1949 wrote on September 14, 2015, 5:22 AM

That means the writing mirrors the writer .

CoralLevang wrote on September 14, 2015, 6:41 AM

emoticon :smile: BarbRad I read a lot of myself in this response. That was not to be narcissistic, but to say that you and I are quite similar.

CoralLevang wrote on September 14, 2015, 8:50 AM

I do not know that I agree with you there. I know many writers...brilliant writers...who are quite introverted.

CoralLevang wrote on September 14, 2015, 8:51 AM

Ah...okay, I didn't read it that way,but now I see. Thanks for the explanation. I was thinking ... the style is the main (what?)... LOL

CoralLevang wrote on September 14, 2015, 1:03 PM

Thank you for the vote of confidence. emoticon :winking: