By in Humor

The Great Potato Chip Disaster of 2 aught and 15

So there I was, innocently taking my left over pizza slices out of the oven. K, on her way back upstairs to her new corporate work-at-home space in what used to be A's bedroom, remarks, "I think you'll like those chips up in the cabinet. They are Parmesan cheese flavored. That should go good with your pizza."

K had made herself a bacon, lettuce, turkey, and tomato sandwich on rye toast. Her choice of chip, Sea Salt and Vinegar. I don't cotton much to vinegar on my chips and K knows that.

My first inclination was to forgo having chips with my pizza, but the leftover slices were rather small, and I was rather hungry. I decided to help myself to a handful after carefully removing he pizza slices from the oven.

I chose a big plate since I was going to add the chips to my lunch. Perhaps that was where things started to go wrong. With one hand holding my plate and the other holding my cane, I started for the living room intent on eating my lunch while I continued working on the computer while resting in my recliner.

What happened next is something of a blur. All I remember is coming to a sudden stop, the pizza and chips starting to slide across the plate, a quick reaction to stop them for going over the side resulting in them sliding back in my direction, and chips leaving my plate and hitting the floor. I did save the pizza and a very few chips.

Ace and I stood there stunned at the chips strewn about the living room floor. So stunned was Ace that he didn't even try to eat them. I wasn't going to eat them either, not after they'd lain on this dog crossed, cat traveled rug more than a fraction of a heartbeat.

With a heavy heart at what had been lost I picked up the errant chips and deposited them in the trash can. Had Ace not just been to the vet and told he needs to shed a pound or two I might have let him have a few. Ginger would have made quick work of them but she was, at that moment, keeping K company upstairs in K's new work space.

I took the fiasco as a sign from the universe that I was not to eat those chips with my pizza and did not return to the cabinet for more, though I will confess the thought did cross my mind to the point of actually opening the cabinet door. The thought went no further than opening the door, however. I did not even reach for the bag. I simply returned to the living room and ate the leftover pizza and the few chips that survived the disaster.

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Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/chips-potato-chips-unhealthy-thick-448746/ by avantrend

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Comments

MegL wrote on September 5, 2015, 1:21 PM

Sometimes serendipity saves you from yourself but it's hard to see the funny side at the time. At least the chips are easier toclean up than the pizza would have been!

lexiconlover wrote on September 5, 2015, 1:47 PM

Oh no! I'm surprised that Ace didn't try to eat them even in his stunned state.

CoralLevang wrote on September 5, 2015, 2:37 PM

I was confused by the title, at first (Aught=zero, shortened variety of Naught, though I understand that pronunciation makes it, in today's language, interchangeable). Then I saw the chips, and had a tinge of needing BBQ potato chips. Then, after reading about pizza and chips, my stomach started to talk to me. Now, I'm not sure what I should do. If I go in search of pizza and chips, I might find myself facing a similar disaster. In fact, the pizza and chips might not be the only things strewn across the floor! emoticon :winking:

Oh, and don't forget the 10-second rule. Cat hair blows off easily.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 2:47 PM

I do have a solid surface for my laptop, actually. It is a lap desk and it works quite well. As for the food in the kitchen rule, I learned that if you are over 50 and the kids are grown and gone you are allowed to ignore that rule. emoticon :tongue:

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 2:49 PM

Actually I saw the humor in it the moment it happened. You see, I never eat chips with pizza and should have known better this time. The universe doesn't like it when you change things up like that.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 2:50 PM

Ace is pretty good at not going after something that hits the floor until I tell him it's okay to do so.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 2:51 PM

It's not so much the hair as the other little gifts the cats occasionally leave on the carpet that keep me from invoking the ten second rule.

CoralLevang wrote on September 5, 2015, 3:11 PM

Like you haven't even had to eat s.....oh, never mind. You're still alive despite it all. emoticon :winking: And I digress.

Feisty56 wrote on September 5, 2015, 3:22 PM

Better that the good health goddess merely made the plate wobbly rather than striking you with lightning to prevent you from eating all those chips with your pizza.

VinceSummers wrote on September 5, 2015, 4:38 PM

I'm a strict adherent to the half-hour rule. Unless a dog has drooled. Then the 10 minute rule applies. As to chips. Hey! Jack! Jill! Read my lips... Potatoes are awesome. There's no need for some man-made chemically hokey artificial flavor to be added.

WordChazer wrote on September 5, 2015, 5:44 PM

I love salt and vinegar chips! In fact that's the only thing in my life other than fries which has salt added. Otherwise I refuse to add the accursed mineral to anything.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 6:43 PM

You will notice that I corrected my spelling to use the right aught. And, yes, that was s staple. I've eaten food out of mermite containers that were best eaten in the dark while blindfolded in a pouring rain.

wolfgirl569 wrote on September 5, 2015, 7:05 PM

I think I would have gotten more just to test fate.

valmnz wrote on September 5, 2015, 11:38 PM

Oh I admire your willpower! And that of Ace as well. Now I'm wondering why we have no chops in the cupboard.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 6, 2015, 8:54 AM

Though a mild lightning strike, just strong enough to kill off these cold germs without really hurting me, would be welcome right about now.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 6, 2015, 8:55 AM

Plain potato chips are still my favorite. Potato, salt, and canola oil. Nothing else is needed.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 6, 2015, 8:57 AM

I have learned not to test fate lightly when the universe sends such a clear message.

VinceSummers wrote on September 6, 2015, 4:54 PM

Precisely. Only I wish Gibble would make them. They used lard. Canola is Canadian Oil -- namely Rapeseed.