By in Health & Fitness

Budget and Survival Skills versus In Sickness and In Health

The alternate title for this post is:

“Am I being callous, insensitive, lacking empathy, unsympathetic, cruel and unkind?”

Perusing my eMail Inbox and quickly glanced at a question in one of the messages that made me chuckle. It was about what your knee-jerk reaction is when faced with financial problems.

  • When experiencing financial difficulties does your instinct immediately prod you to cut back?

Well? I guess so! But more than likely my “cutbacks” happen because there's no money! Not sure my “instinct” was necessary. ((O.o))

On a serious note, the question provoked my memory recall. A while back, was watching a popular talk show once and it was rather disturbing. It's disturbing that people who do things that don't make sense are always “ill”. This woman supposedly had an “illness”. She would buy stuff she didn't really need!

  • If you're filthy rich and you have large barns to store all of your worldly possessions, then it doesn't matter. You would be called a “shopaholic”.
  • If you bought a load of crap and had the decency to give it away because you realized you weren't really using it, you'd be called “charitable”.

But when loads of crap are piled up in your house to the point that the place is a junk heap and you and your partner can barely see the bed you both lie down to sleep on … then you're sick!

A team was sent in to clean the place up and the team actually got sick from breathing in toxic stuff – dust, spores, mites, who knows what! - from piles of clothing, etc. that had been lying around the home for years. Items bought from the store that still had the price tags on them!!!

Listening to the interviewer questioning this woman as to why she was buying things she didn't need and her response was … (not an exact quote): “Because the blouses were on sale and there were different colors available, so I bought one in each color.”

The interviewer turns to question the husband and it seems he gave her credit cards for her spending purposes. You know? Grocery shopping, health and beauty needs, wardrobe necessities, things for practical living, and maybe an occasional gift or guilty pleasure luxury product.

Started thinking to myself. Don't know who the sick person is. The wife or the husband? Seems to me the CURE was taking away the credit cards. YOU CAN'T BUY NOTHING IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!

It really perturbs me, that people do dumb stuff and get to write it off as an “illness”. OR … am I being insensitive to this poor woman who is clearly not poor because she can afford to buy things she has no need for, has no place to put them, and never even blinked at the thought about making a donation to a charity!!

(Just a rant. Thank you for letting me shout it out.)

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Image Credit » by ClkerFreeVectorImages

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MegL wrote on September 2, 2015, 3:52 PM

Hoarding is a recognised illness. Some people just cannot throw things out - that's one aspect, they are probably living by a tenet handed down through the generations from those who survived the Great Depression - "Waste not, want not". My grandmother would never cut string. She untied all the knots and saved every piece. The other aspect is buying things you do not need. That MAY be a way of saying "I only feel loved if I have lots of things", a substitute maybe for feeling unloved or unwanted. Put the two together and you have the mess you talk about, a house full of "stuff" that is never gotten rid of. There are programs to help those with this problem (decluttering) but those who are very sick need professinal medical help.

cmoneyspinner wrote on September 2, 2015, 4:32 PM

If you say so. Who am I to talk? I have done some things that made sense to me that I could explain, because my motivation or the "why" made sense to me, but others thought I was either pretending to be crazy or I was actually crazy. But I was neither!

wolfgirl569 wrote on September 2, 2015, 11:19 PM

Sounds like they both have a problem. Hoarding can e brought on by many different things but often having went through a spell of having to do without. There the husband could be helping her buy by getting a credit card as a way to prove he can now afford to let her have what ever she wants.

cmoneyspinner wrote on September 2, 2015, 11:47 PM

Not everything took place in the show; obviously the show recapped what took place over a period of time. Didn't do any follow-up - as this program aired on television several years ago - but supposedly, at the end of the talk show , the indication was that the lady was well on her way to "recovery" and was ever so grateful for all the "help" she received. Bunch of people cleaned her house for her. She got new furniture. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Saramarie wrote on September 2, 2015, 11:54 PM

Sounds like hoarding. I know I cut back when I have to. Wish I had extra money but if I did, personally I wouldn't just go blow it on buying tons of things. As you said I would cut back!

WordChazer wrote on September 4, 2015, 2:06 PM

We have them here too. The kind of people who take out an interest-only mortgage with no idea how they're going to pay back any more than the bare interest payments every month. They then blame the bank or the lender who gave them the loan.

If they can't pay back the cost of the house, they are foreclosed upon and will be homeless. They could sell the house, but who wants to do that of they don't have to?

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 3:00 PM

If I am not mistaken, hoarding is one of the manifestations of OCD. In the case you are talking about, the husband was the enabler.

cmoneyspinner wrote on September 5, 2015, 5:32 PM

Could the husband have not been the “disabler” by taking away the credit cards? I understand OCD. I'm not being heartless towards the lady. Really I'm not. But when you can't find the bed you sleep on ... why call a talk show host to the rescue? Don't sick people need physicians?

cmoneyspinner wrote on September 5, 2015, 5:38 PM

It is the lender's legal and financial responsibility to ascertain or verify a borrower's “ability to pay”. It is the borrower's obligation to fully understand and recognize the consequences of what happens when they don't pay! Everybody signs on the dotted line. Nobody is ignorant about the transaction. But that don't stop them from yelling and screaming anyway.

WordChazer wrote on September 5, 2015, 6:37 PM

I'm not sure either of those happened in some cases: gives a few examples of people who didn't appear to understand and lenders who showed no duty of care towards their customers. I'm contrasting that with the treatment my husband and I have received at the hands of credit management agencies and loan brokers over the last decade. They have both universally been friendly, reasonable, approachable and understanding. I can only hope that when we come to renegotiate our mortgage in the next few months, the company we choose will also be as amenable.

DWDavisRSL wrote on September 5, 2015, 7:08 PM

The husband should have been the disabler, you are correct. However, sometimes the one person in a position to help the most gets caught up in the compulsion and, in an effort to make the affected one content or stop them from becoming violent, chooses to go along and get along.

valmnz wrote on September 5, 2015, 11:52 PM

love your style here emoticon :smile: I'm like you, I don't need common sense to tell me not to buy something. I have nothing to buy it with! That solves the problem.

cmoneyspinner wrote on September 7, 2015, 4:07 PM

It was a sad set of circumstances. At any rate it looks like it ended well for the lady and her husband.

paigea wrote on September 22, 2015, 11:26 PM

He ought to have taken the credit cards away to not add to her problem. I doubt that would have stopped her though. These people will acquire stuff from garage sales, thrift shops, people they know who are discarding things for free. Some of the stuff in those homes is stacks of newspaper, etc.
I can't bear to watch that show; those people are very ill and I don't think the show helps them!

cmoneyspinner wrote on June 24, 2016, 12:48 PM

* MBS March 2016