By in Relationships

The End May Be in Sight

I do not talk of this much, but there has been a horrible situation happening in my family for a long time. I have alluded to things with a couple of posts: This Affects Everyone and Poetry: Question for a Fool .

I will not share too much of it, because the hardest part of it for me is to stay civil, given that I saw things 21 years ago, and throughout these past two decades. I wish that I had not been right.

Unfortunately, things have happened, which have affected greatly the relationships between grandchildren and grandparents. They will likely not change. I only hope that they do before my life passes.

It amazes me the games that some play to try to destroy all that is good. I suppose that, on the surface, they win. It is why I have had to learn acceptance, which is the most difficult. Eventually, things will work out as they will, and it is often better than what we think, which is why doing anything to "win" is never good. It is always best to do what is "right."

That is the big difference between being a fighter and being a warrior, as I see it. Fighters are all about the competition, at any and all cost. Warriors fight, if they must, but because they need to do the right thing and take the risk of losing, understanding that no one ever wins.

The latest strategy was for one to file a 90-day continuance, as part of the game. At today's hearing, the judge denied a continuance. The trial moves forward on Friday. A trial that should never have gone this far, but did for the shenanigans played by one party, which he has played throughout his life in all situations. But that would take up volumes and I do not wish to give it any energy.

Suffice it to say, it appears that there may be an end in sight, at least, for the marriage. A dissolution of marriage, so that one person can get on with her life in some aspects. And after two-and-a-half more years, she can cut all ties, and the "goodbye" will be final.

It is about time.

(Author's update: Is it weird to anyone else that the Captcha was "good riddance"? Seriously, how did that happen? LOL)

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Coins: 3752, +159 coins in 4 hours; $5.63, 28%

Amazing that is 67% in 4 hours, what I did in the previous 48 hours.

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Copyright 2015 - Coral Levang. All Rights Reserved.

#divorce | | | | |

Image Credit » by geralt

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Feisty56 wrote on August 24, 2015, 4:48 PM

I agree with your interpretation of the difference between a fighter and a warrior, for want of better words for either. Our family has experienced more than one prolonged and no-holds-barred "uncouplings." It has always been my hope that the children in the unions will come out unscathed, but that's not a realistic expectation. Shame on the adults who profess their love for those children and the soon-to-be former partner, then act like mortal enemies to kith and kin.

MegL wrote on August 24, 2015, 4:53 PM

That's a strange coincidence to have a capch like that. I don't generally see capchas these days, because I save my articles several times and then they don't need a capcha to be submitted.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 4:54 PM

Feisty56 I had two marriages breakup. In each, there was civility. With , had I known what he had done earlier than later, I might not have been so civil. There are some stories that should have been told three decades earlier, but weren't. I might have killed him had I known . With , we are friends today. is RGD that I refer to from time-to-time.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 4:56 PM

I thought it strange, as well, MegL
As far as saving articles, I can never find out where to save and to see them and work on them here in PP. Am I missing something?

MegL wrote on August 24, 2015, 5:00 PM

When I start an article, I write the heading, choose a category and write a couple of sentences. At the bottom are 3 boxes. one is submit, one save and the other is restore. I save the article. I can edit if I want to go straight back in. Otherwise, it is then in my drafts. I have a few articles sitting forlornly in my drafts that have had no more done on them! emoticon :sad:

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 5:09 PM

I have never seen Drafts. *confused*

valmnz wrote on August 24, 2015, 5:30 PM

It's not always standing back and remaining the uninvolved observer. Hey, I often have captchas that match my message in some way emoticon :smile:

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 5:46 PM

valmnz I am not sure we are every "the uninvolved observer" in cases like this with family, but we certainly cannot speak our minds.

Sailorchronos wrote on August 24, 2015, 8:02 PM

I've frequently said that I'm glad that I didn't have kids with my ex because it would have been messy. I loved his family but in the end I realized that I'd never truly been in love with him to begin with, plus he had been emotionally abusive to me. I now feel sorry for his family who have believed the lies he has told about me.
I hope that your family can find balance after this whole thing is finished.

wolfgirl569 wrote on August 24, 2015, 8:07 PM

Glad that things may soon be settled and the end is in sight. It is never easy for anyone involved

bestwriter wrote on August 24, 2015, 8:34 PM

I often find captchas relevant to the topic I dwell on. Surely there must be a real human there (lol)
It is sad that it is not always 'Until death do us part'

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 10:19 PM

I hope so, too. Thank you.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 10:19 PM

I hope so. It's just a crazy situation.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 10:25 PM

Yes, it is interesting how the captchas are so relevant, at times.

DWDavisRSL wrote on August 24, 2015, 10:47 PM

I hope for her sake that this is the end of her travail. No one should have to endure such emotional pain at the hands of another.

LoudMan wrote on August 24, 2015, 11:11 PM

I'm guessing this is about divorce? Divorce is always difficult, even when it's for the best.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 11:17 PM

I do, too, but her youngest is still under the age of 16, living with his father and being poisoned against her and anyone associated with her. He's acting similar (same language, etc) as the elder. It won't be over until he's 18, and then she won't have to deal with the ex- again, unless she chooses to. It's horrible.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 11:18 PM

Yes. And when you get a narcissist who insists on being evil...dare I say more? *sigh*

Paulie wrote on August 24, 2015, 11:27 PM

I am sorry to read about this unfortunate happening. I personally know that divorces can be messy and really take a long time to finalize.

CoralLevang wrote on August 24, 2015, 11:30 PM

This one did not have to. They had nothing, as far as assets. She agreed to take all debt. This could have been done before the first of the year. He insisted on trial, and in a no-fault state. He's delusional, and once things are more final, you can bet I will share more. I may do it more fictional-style. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

jiangliu1949 wrote on August 25, 2015, 4:35 AM

As the saying goes "better a finger off than aye wagging".You seem to be a warrior in this dispute.

CoralLevang wrote on August 25, 2015, 5:29 AM

I can only offer help as a parent can of a grown child. It is not my place to do anything for her other than love her and help her as she sees fit, if I can. I just want it as over as it will be under the circumstances, so that she can go on with life, as she will know it, despite the fall out. No one can go back and do it over. What has transpired cannot be undone. It is now acceptance of the situation and learning how to live in spite of it all. I only want to be of support.

jiangliu1949 wrote on August 26, 2015, 4:26 AM

Don't let it upset you .Let bygones be bygones !

CoralLevang wrote on August 26, 2015, 10:40 AM

Difficult as a parent to do sometimes, but yes, the past is gone.

inertia4 wrote on August 26, 2015, 11:26 AM

I know the kind of people you speak of. Maybe different situations though. I know someone that gets totally consumed with a few people in their family. They have a way of talking to this person that gets them all flustered and feeling guilty. In turn this person bends over backwards for them. and all they are doing is taking advantage of this person. I have tried everything in my power to show this person the right way and for this person to stand up for them self. But it never seems to work. I feel I am a fighter and warrior wrapped up in one. But there comes a time where one has to give up and write it off. And so that's what I did. I am tired of the fight and the plight.

cheri wrote on August 26, 2015, 10:13 PM

I hope that everything will finally be in the right place. My prayers for you sweet friend.

CoralLevang wrote on August 27, 2015, 1:04 AM

Yep. Being conciliatory, in theory, is great. But sometimes, you have to say "enough." And if you can't say it, then I will, because I cannot deal with the drama any longer. You are no longer a victim because you do not know. It's choice now.

CoralLevang wrote on August 27, 2015, 1:05 AM

Thank you. I just want it over for all concerned.

inertia4 wrote on August 28, 2015, 10:48 AM

I agree with you. This person I speak of really just likes to complain I guess. Maybe they enjoy having these stresses in their life. And even being used, I guess gives this person a sense of being needed. Strange though.

PriscillaKing wrote on September 13, 2015, 7:08 PM

Sometimes Captchas seem weirdly relevant...

CoralLevang wrote on September 14, 2015, 6:29 AM

Isn't that the truth?!