By in Personal

You can stop the pain

Having your heart broken hurts. A lot. What most people fail to realize is that making it stop is very much in their power. You are the only one who can control how long the pain lasts. Maybe you couldn't control what happened to break your heart. After all, you don't control others. Someone you cared about, or loved, hurt you badly. Now you're left feeling lost, broken, hopeless.

You go through everything over and over in your mind. If only you had done something different. If only they had been the person you wanted them to be, who you had hoped they were. You think of what could have been. What you wished had happened. You spend every moment with that person slipping into your mind. You allow them to continue to have power over you.

You know they hurt you and part of you might even hate them for that, but not enough to make you let go. The sad part is, that's all it takes. Focusing more on the people around you (you know, the ones you've been avoiding and pushing away because of the pain) and realizing that there is so much more to life than pining over someone who hurt you.

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inertia4 wrote on August 14, 2015, 4:14 PM

Getting hurt is a big thing. Believe me. I was burned after a 17 year marriage. And it takes time for that to start going away. Like when someone dies, we go through a grieving period. And that take months, sometimes years. But, eventually we come out of it and we move one. Some people get hurt so bad, they stop moving on.

DanieGirl8587 wrote on August 14, 2015, 4:17 PM

Bravo! Well said. Heartache is the worst feeling. It took me a really long time to get over my first love after we had broken up for the umteenth time. I had a lot of support though and after being with my husband for almost 10 years, I look back and wonder why I wasted so many tears on that jerk. There is so much more to life then dwelling on the past and on what was or might have been. And always remember that since it ended, there is probably a good reason for it and someone who is truly meant for you.

scheng1 wrote on August 14, 2015, 11:22 PM

Sometimes I think we are not in hardship, that is why we have so much time to focus on ourselves.

Paulie wrote on August 15, 2015, 12:38 AM

What you say is really true. You must realize that there is much more to life than pining over someone who has hurt you.