By in Breaking News

Ashley Who?

Ok, so how many of you out there are currently panicking about your impending exposure as a prospective cheat using the 'Ashley Madison' website?

Not many I would suspect! If any! Let's face it who would be so stupid as to use their real name and contact details on such a website? I certainly didn't, errr... I mean I certainly wouldn't. If I was going to do that sort of thing. Which I haven't. And wouldn't. Never ever. Ever!

In any case what sort of stupid name is that for an adulterer's hook-up website? It's supposed to be the typical name of the sort of woman a married man would look to have an affair with. Absolute nonsense! Ashley Madison sounds like a middle-ages librarian with a pudding-basin haircut, surgical stockings and sensible brogues. Basically the sort of woman that a married man looking to have an affair is already married to!!

If I was going to use one of these websites, which I'm not, ever, honest, then I would want the website to be called 'Belinda Cummings' or 'Alicia Fluffybuns' or some such alluring moniker. There you go! If I'd been in their marketing department there would be far more than 37 million people currently bricking themselves world-wide.

What a great time to be a divorce lawyer!!

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are not necessarily true. I don't even believe them and I wrote them!!)


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Comments

AliCanary wrote on July 21, 2015, 5:58 PM

Hee! This is so funny. How about Bunny Wigglebottom or Candy Sugarlumps?

WorDazza wrote on July 21, 2015, 6:08 PM

Congratulations! You have just passed the test to become the Vice President of Marketing for my new company "SalubriousWebsites'R'Us"

Koalemos wrote on July 21, 2015, 9:30 PM

A middle aged librarian with surgical stocking sounds fine to me. I cannot afford to be fussy.

Debbie wrote on July 22, 2015, 7:47 AM

I suspect it's an Americanism. I often hear of these long winded names and it's obvious they are influenced by crappy programmes like Sex in the City, etc. I like your choices but suggest 'Belinda's Cummings and Goings' maybe be better suited.

JohnRoberts wrote on July 22, 2015, 9:57 AM

Let's just say most of the "clients" are likely weight and hair challenged. I would venture no one ever uses their real name and this is a media driven rather than realistic "panic."

WorDazza wrote on July 22, 2015, 12:20 PM

I suppose when you get to my age any kind of stocking isn't to be sniffed at.

WorDazza wrote on July 22, 2015, 12:21 PM

I see we have another applicant for the position of Vice President of Marketing at SalubriousWebsites'R'Us.

WorDazza wrote on July 22, 2015, 12:23 PM

And very possibly height challenged too. Not there's anything wrong with being short, paunchy and balding. Actually those are the exact three words I used in my profile!!!

JohnRoberts wrote on July 22, 2015, 2:52 PM

That's being honest. I am just saying that these dating sites like Farmers Only give the impression of hot babes and guys which sort fuels unrealistic hopes.

Kasman wrote on July 22, 2015, 5:16 PM

A middle-aged librarian with a pudding-basin haircut, surgical stockings and sensible brogues? Cor! Can you get me a date? emoticon :winking: Glad to see you back. Did you hear MyLot is starting to pay again?

WorDazza wrote on July 22, 2015, 5:48 PM

I'll show Mrs WorDazza your profile pic, see if she's up for it!!
I've never used MyLot. Is it any good?

Kasman wrote on July 22, 2015, 6:05 PM

Many people say the interaction there was very good. They used to pay but stopped a while back - well now they intend to start paying again and it has caused a lot of excitement on this site and others with many lapsed members flooding back.

WorDazza wrote on July 22, 2015, 6:06 PM

I may pop along and see what it's all about.

Ruby3881 wrote on July 23, 2015, 2:39 AM

I quite agree that most (probably close to all) people who used the site were smart enough to use a false identity when they joined. So what's the point of revealing the list? I'll bet there's a whole lotta John Smiths on those membership rolls!

AS for the site name, judging from the infomercials they used to play on TV, I think their marketing plan is to target women, not men. It's just like some dating sites are free to women, ad only charge men. They know they won't lack for a bunch of horny guys willing to join and pay through the nose for the service, but they need women to pair them up with. "Brenda Cummings" might attract the guys, but "Ashley Madison" is a nice, safe, neutral name the women will be comfortable with.

Ruby3881 wrote on July 23, 2015, 3:51 AM

I read a poem someone had composed in honour of the revival of MyLot, but had been rather confused to see no mention of earning opportunities in their terms. Is it that it hasn't happened yet?

Kasman wrote on July 23, 2015, 2:59 PM

Ruby3881 - they say it will happen shortly but don't say exactly when. Does this remind you of another site which promised much but didn't deliver?

WorDazza wrote on July 23, 2015, 3:07 PM

I just wonder how many Ashley Madisons were registered with them!!

DWDavisRSL wrote on July 23, 2015, 9:09 PM

I was thinking a name borrowed in part from the Porky's movies, Cherri Toujour.

Ruby3881 wrote on July 25, 2015, 11:24 PM

LOL, I hadn't thought of people using that as an alias! I wonder if the admin blocked usernames that were a variation of the site's own name?

Ruby3881 wrote on July 25, 2015, 11:25 PM

When you put the question that way, it sort of dampens any hope that this might be another earning opportunity...

But thanks for the reality check! After they decided to stop paying users, I guess caution was indicated anyway.