By in Animals

Accounting for the Human, by Guiness the Cat

Hello, this is Guiness the Cat.

I suppose I should explain my inexcusable absence of late.

It's simple, really. It's all Debbi's fault.

First it was the yard sale, which was less than a spectacular success to say the least.

Then it was the new business venture. The one that's off to a much better start than the yard selling business, or the scrunchy-making business either. (She has yet to make the first scrunchy, much less sell one.)

Most of the details of the new job are a mystery to me, but it brings in much more cat food than piano lessons or Get Paid To sites do. It has lots of perks, too, that I'm liking a lot. (Mmm, yummy.)

The bad news is the job has been taking up all Debbi's time lately. Trying to start a new career almost from scratch is time-consuming, especially when you're learning as you go. It doesn't help that it requires a lot of attention to detail, not to mention the ability to remember all those details even when you remember to pay attention to them. She's more used to making up details to write than observing ones that really exist. It also doesn't help if you're a shy person who suddenly has to go up to perfect strangers and ask them questions.

She's really had to work on those things. But pushing her out of her comfort zone has been good for her. At least that's what I told her. Of course, at the time I said that, I was laying on the floor in the same spot under the piano I had been when she left that morning, waiting to see if she brought home new and more interesting cat food than what I was currently snubbing in the kitchen. (She did.)

As for me, I have been putting in long hours myself training her, doing research, and lining up jobs for her. It's been so exhausting, I've had to spend hours upon hours catching up on my sleep.

The plan is to build the business into a dependable base income with a flexible schedule that will allow her more freedom to write. But it's going to take awhile to do that, so in the meantime, please be patient. We're still here, and we'll be back.

(And for those of you who do the same thing who are thinking, "Dependable? Is she crazy?", the answer is yes, but you have to remember this is someone who lists her occupation as musician/writer. She was already crazy. Humor her.)

Meanwhile, there are plenty of dazzling photos of me sitting unused in a folder, but as you know, uploading them is beneath me and my executive assistant is currently unavailable. Patience, ardent fans. Patience.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat


Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.

Image Credit » (c) 2015 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

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MarshaMusselman wrote on June 20, 2015, 6:29 PM

I understand the image problems. I got my first tablet this last week. it would be so much easier if all my photos on my computer were now available on my tablet, but alas that will take a bit of work to accomplish. Too bad I didn't put my images on evernote, a cloud server I use, then they would be available all the time.

I'd ask what it is Debbi is into now, but I may not be around much to read her reply.😁

LindaCPearson wrote on June 20, 2015, 6:39 PM

Yay and gad zukes and yippy hurray - so good to hear from you, Prince Charming Sweet Punkin Guiness. It's Mildred. Our moms both seem involved in new money-making endeavors to actually bring in some money, which can be a good thing if we benefit, which I have and it sounds like you have. Every now and then I write a post just to shame my mom into writing one, but so far she hasn't. I'm going to try and write more often because I do miss all my human admirers and my feline friends, especially you, Most Handsome Guiness. Smooches and high fives, your BFF, Mildred the Cat.

paigea wrote on June 20, 2015, 6:47 PM

Nice to hear from you. Sounds like you will have some interesting mystery shopping tips when things settle down. Take notes discretely with your cell phone is my tip today. I turn off the sound and text myself details I might forget. Maybe you have a note taking place on your phone. Maybe I do too, but I haven't figured that out. Texting gives me times things happened too. Good luck.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 20, 2015, 8:06 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I want a tablet. It's so much easier to swipe than type when you have paws. Debbi doesn't tell me much about her assignments, but it's kind of a freelance gig that's putting her writing skills to use.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 20, 2015, 8:36 PM

My dearest sweet Princess Mildred,

I do wish our humans would hurry up, get their act together, and get rich. This waiting for riches is sooo boring.

Miss you bunches.

Sincerely, your Prince Charming Sweet Punkin Guiness the Cat

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 20, 2015, 8:49 PM

I've thought of that, but so far I haven't had an assignment that's conducive to that. I'm getting more coordinated, but for the moment I'm doing a lot of nice, easy grocery shops.

paigea wrote on June 20, 2015, 9:50 PM

Grocery shops are among my favourite But there is only one here. At least it gets done twice a month.

wolfgirl569 wrote on June 20, 2015, 10:50 PM

I hope everything works out great for Debbie and that she soon has some free time. Glad you are getting enough kibble

Bobbydem wrote on June 21, 2015, 2:10 AM

Dear Guinness. I too have let my executive assistant know that I am unimpressed as to her lack of publishing on my behalf lately. Apparently the paid work and the short humans are taking up all of her time. I am not amused. The other human keeps mentioning 'paperwork' but I don't think he is referring to the stuff I rearrange for them - something about the 'tax man'. She is currently rolling clay into funny shapes and mumbling about book character costumes. Beats me what could be more important than MY fans who are sorely deprived of my wisdom. I hope that the situation will soon be remedied. If not, maybe we should club together and hire a new one. Anyone know a typist who will work for catfood? - Morpheus

Firecracker wrote on June 21, 2015, 5:07 AM

Both you and Debbie sound extremely busy! I'll try to be patient when it comes to the pictures. I'm not making any promises though! :p lol

Fleur wrote on June 21, 2015, 5:09 PM

Nice to get an update, hope the new venture goes well under your supervision!

wetnosedogs wrote on June 21, 2015, 7:18 PM

Hey Guiness, we need to remember that Debbi gets very tired from her venture, so we need to be patient. After all, she does still bring you goodies to eat, right?

BarbRad wrote on June 22, 2015, 2:47 AM

Thanks for the report. I've been wondering what the two of you were up to. Hope it continues to go well.

GemOfAGirl wrote on June 24, 2015, 1:08 PM

It's good to see you (and Debbi) back, Guiness! Thank you for trying to coach her through all of this - change is hard for humans, but the support (and prodding) by our feline friends makes it more worth it. I hope her new ventures result in all sorts of tasty goodies for you!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:42 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Things are going pretty good so far, but free time is in scarce supply.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:46 AM

Dear Morpheus,

I agree about the sorry state of available help. Maybe we should go in together and run an ad. We'll do one of those silly funny cat videos humans are such suckers for and find one gullible to donate their time.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:47 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. You're doing a better job at patience than I am.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:49 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I'm sure it would go smoother if she would let me supervise more.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:51 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. She is at least bringing home the cat food.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:53 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I'm up to laying under the piano. I'm really not sure what she's up to, but it isn't taking me outside.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on June 26, 2015, 12:54 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I'm very good at both coaching and prodding.

Firecracker wrote on June 26, 2015, 7:59 AM

Well, thank you. I appreciate that, you beautiful cat! :)

HappyLady wrote on June 30, 2015, 5:27 PM

Dear Guinness, I have missed you. Now I know why. I hope you are back soon and that you are not getting fat. Love from Freya, thevCatblog Cat.

Shellyann36 wrote on July 5, 2015, 1:19 AM

Oh I can't wait to hear another update. It sounds as if you have everything under control Guiness the Cat! Kudos to you and Debbi.

rebelann1949 wrote on August 19, 2015, 5:40 PM

I hope your human is successful, mine does a lot of punching and now she's outside with my dog, I'm not allowed outside so I go to the windows to watch what she's doing ..... I think humans are crazy, especially mine, scraping up all those plants and dirt just seems so silly to me, she could just as well pick me up and carry me around outside, right? ~_~ Boobear, feline Queen of this abode.

LindaCPearson wrote on October 18, 2015, 7:09 PM

Dear Guiness: You were the best feline writer of us all. I will miss your posts and your friendship. i will never forget you. Love, your faithful friend, Mildred the Cat.

MegL wrote on October 21, 2015, 6:42 PM

Oh Guiness, if only I had known that this would be your last post, I would have told you how clever and beloved you are. But then you knew that all along, didn't you?