Do It Out of Love, Not Obligation
Last year, I received some correspondence from an acquaintance who shared that he took his mother grocery shopping on Sundays. It is a Sunday ritual for them. For helping her, she buys him groceries for week.
I was terribly disturbed, however, when he wrote, "When I am with my mom and my brother, I am bored to death. But I do not want to hurt my mom's feelings."
It struck me that he does not value the time he spends with his mother.
There are times when we all do things that are less than exciting. Sometimes, they are downright painful, or "boring," as he called it. His impetus for doing this was out of obligation to his mother, not wanting to feel the guilt for having hurt her feelings.
There are times when each of make this type of decision. We feel obligated, not wanting to look bad to others, or to avoid other fears and emotions. Rather than say that we do not have the time, do not want to, do not see the value in, or any other reason it is okay not to want to do or say something, we swallow our words and agree to do what we do not want to do.
We put ourselves in a black or white situation. When we do so, how else are we likely to feel other than bored, obligated, locked-in, slighted or guilty?
The answer is to see the situation through a new lens, especially if we are going to make the decision to do what we do not want to do anyway. We have to choose to look at the act of what we do differently.
My response to him: "Do it because you love her...and for no other reason. There will come a time when you will not be able to do for her. You are giving her, but more importantly, you are giving yourself a precious gift that you will cherish with all your heart some day."
It was a reminder to me that everything I do is a choice. How I view that choice will always be up to me.
And today, on the anniversary of my mother's passing, how I wish that I could take my Mom shopping!
Image Credit » http://pixabay.com/en/supermarket-shopping-sales-store-435452/ by itkannan4u