There Will Be Chocolate Bunnies This Year
The days of the "Easter bunny" leaving me a basket are a fleeting memory, though I remember being excited to see what was left in my basket. It has been many years since I have colored eggs, or planned or participated in an egg hunt.
When grandchildren came into the picture, there were "issues" in the family. The holidays lost their appeal and I stopped celebrating them. I isolated myself from media and commercial reminders of the "Hallmark version" of family holidays.
Living alone often times means being alone. Most friends and acquaintances made assumptions that I would celebrate with family.
The question, "So, what are you doing for (fill-in-the-holiday/weekend)?" was always awkward for me to answer. If the question came in past tense, after the fact, I might answer it, "Oh, it was a quiet weekend." It was rare to be invited anywhere, and most would not delve into what made it such a quiet holiday.
I had two invitations for today. I chose to go to my sister's. There will be family, including my granddaughter, who is now grown. The family dynamic has changed drastically in the past six months since my daughter and son-in-law separated. My grandson will not be there.
There will be quiet awkwardness because of whispered conversations, which will exclude me. I am rather direct, though not insensitive. People are not comfortable with direct. If it were up to me, we would just get that part of the conversation over and done with, so we can move beyond and see the joy of being together, as it is.
But this year is different for me. I went out and bought cards and solid chocolate bunnies for my niece, nephew, and my grandchildren. I will send the one for my grandson home with my granddaughter. My sister and my daughter will get one, as well, though bigger.
I bought the biggest chocolate bunny for my daughter's father, who is still my friend, even though it has been 18 years since we split. It was only two and a half months ago that he was undergoing open heart surgery to replace a valve and part of his aorta.
I am also baking a cake this morning. It won't be fancy, but it will be my contribution to the holiday table.
It is likely that there will be no card or Easter basket for me, but I will celebrate that this family is beginning to have some repair. If the whispering begins, I will excuse myself to go take a walk to choose not to include myself in the negativity.
And that, in and of itself, is cause for celebration.
© Coral Levang, 2015
Image Credit » http://pixabay.com/en/milk-chocolate-bunny-candy-sweets-617667/ by skeeze