30-Day Song Challenge, Day Four - A Song that Makes You Sad
A song that makes me sad is “Breathe Again” by Toni Braxton. The song is about a painful breakup, but it had never made me feel particularly sad until after my mom died. My mother died from cancer, and she had been receiving chemotherapy to shrink her tumor, but the chemo made her so sick with nausea and fatigue that she couldn’t stand it any longer. She decided to stop taking the medicine and just let things run their course.
Although she had talked to the ministers at our church and they had assured her that this would not be considered suicide, and although we could see how much discomfort she was in and we all accepted her decision to die in peace, I guess deep down inside, there was still the feeling that she just gave up; that she didn’t fight as hard as she absolutely could to stay with us all. Logically, it was the right decision to let her go, but the little kid inside can’t help but feel abandoned. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest, most awful thing I’ve ever done.
It hadn’t been too long after she had passed away that I happened to be listening to music and this song came on. I had always enjoyed it before, but when the line, “How could you love me, then leave?” came around, I burst into tears. How COULD she leave us, if she loved us? How COULD she??? The grief, the anger, and then the guilt for being angry, being selfish. Ugh; what a mess, huh?
A close runner-up to this song would be “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, which my mom requested to be sung at her funeral. For years after her death, I couldn’t stand to hear that song, either. I think I’m okay with it now, but it’s still kind of tough. It was also sung at my aunt’s funeral, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
Here's the last one, in case you missed it!
Image Credit » commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Toni_Braxton_2009_2_cropped.jpg