By in Humor

Dumb Stuff I Have Observed, Part 4 - Hang in There

1. Cats love us more when they are hungry or cold.

2. Does John Mayer ever go out with anyone who isn't really famous?

3. If you are at a party and someone calls you a "douchebag", it is time for one of you to leave the party.

4. People who fight over whether to squeeze the toothpaste tube from the end or from the middle clearly have bigger problems, like why they haven't found out that toothpaste comes in pump bottles now.

5. If cats had opposable thumbs, they would still bring you dead rodents as presents, but they might tie little bows around them.

6. Okay, we've got length, width, depth and breadth, so what happened with height and weight?

7. Whiz: indicates rapid movement, urination, preternatural ability and fake cheese.

8. The advertising slogan for Windows is "Life without walls", but that's stupid. If you don't have walls, there's no place to put windows.

9. What the hell is non-dairy creamer made out of?

10. "Puff the Magic Dragon" is not about smoking weed. It's about the death of childhood innocence and imagination and it's the saddest song I've ever heard and I hate it. (I know, I know: "Thanks for sharing.")


DumbStuff

Here's more Dumb Stuff!

http://www.personapaper.com/article/16989-dumb-stuff-i-have-observed

http://personapaper.com/article/18025-dumb-stuff-i-have-observed-part-deux-prounounced-duh

http://personapaper.com/article/22818-dumb-stuff-i-have-observed-part-the-third


Image Credit » http://pixabay.com/en/cigar-smoking-cigar-cigarette-362183/

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Comments

MsBiz wrote on February 5, 2015, 11:25 AM

True facts: All of these things, except that I'm going to remain in denial over Puff the Magic Dragon.

Briggsy326 wrote on February 5, 2015, 11:33 AM

The one about non-dairy creamer reminded me of a time when someone asked me if the profiteroles I was eating had real cream or synthetic cream in them - my response was "I don't really care as either way it tastes good" lol

nbaquero wrote on February 5, 2015, 12:10 PM

MsBiz There are no false facts ,are there? emoticon :winking: AliCanary is a great observer!

MegL wrote on February 5, 2015, 12:59 PM

But who is John Mayer. He can't be that famous himself?

MsBiz wrote on February 5, 2015, 1:29 PM

LOL, I guess a false fact would be an opinion... or a mistruth emoticon :winking: Either way, they're all great (and amusing) observations.

Last Edited: February 5, 2015, 1:31 PM

nbaquero wrote on February 5, 2015, 3:08 PM

MsBiz Thanks for being a good sport and play along! Yes they are all great observations, you should read the whole series.

Ellis wrote on February 5, 2015, 3:20 PM

Not true that cats love us more when they are cold...my last cat scratched me to buggery when I tried to lock him in the fridge...(whistling) Puff the Magic Dragon lives by the sea......

Scorpie wrote on February 5, 2015, 9:12 PM

7. ..and Gee.

11. Sorry I'm too busy. I was posing for animal crackers.

BarbRad wrote on February 5, 2015, 9:15 PM

Love . As for , I don't think you really want to know that.

GemOfAGirl wrote on February 6, 2015, 12:57 AM

I hereby REJECT the one about Puff! emoticon :winking: We've all whiffed the sweet smell of the "autumn mist", lol.

GemOfAGirl wrote on February 6, 2015, 1:01 AM

Are there ANY female twenty-something celebrities that HAVEN'T gone out with John Mayer?

carolscash wrote on February 6, 2015, 6:12 AM

This was a list of dumb things but I did learn a little from it. I don't want a cat with thumbs as I don't like dead rodents and I don't want bows on them. LOL!

AliCanary wrote on March 11, 2015, 2:13 PM

The very concept of "synthetic cream" weirds me out more than I can convey!

AliCanary wrote on March 11, 2015, 2:13 PM

Oh, some ponce who can play guitar really well. He has about a dozen grammys.

iwrite28 wrote on June 26, 2015, 8:19 AM

Fabulous list. You are awesome :)..and -- so, so true!

Last Edited: June 26, 2015, 8:19 AM

DWDavisRSL wrote on July 23, 2015, 9:48 AM

Item , I thought breadth was British for width. Item I already knew this so I won't hold it against you for sharing.