Family dynamics are beyond my ken. I have three relations I speak to (mum, dad and my maternal aunt) and the rest of them I've not heard from in over 20 years, except for annual Christmas cards from a couple of cousins. Suits me fine. More time for those people I do care about.
My husband has a huge family , because his mother has lots of siblings. I've not met them all, nor am I likely to. There's always someone not speaking to someone else, and right at the moment that's them not speaking to us. The trouble is that the relations we live closest to are the ones my husband has never been able to see eye-to-eye with.
I didn't exactly fall head over heels with them either when I first met them, but I made a go of it, until a couple of years ago when I realised, after spending a week on holiday with them, that there was just no point in trying. They had taken against me and that was that. They don't communicate their intentions, which annoys me intensely. They criticise our life choices without considering why we may have chosen that route. By the end of the holiday they were literally shutting me out of their world, by closing doors on me when I was in a different area to them. I went to look at the water feature in the courtyard, but one cousin decided she was cold, so the door was shut firmly. (This was after the entire week where I had wondered if I would melt from heat exhaustion as the central heating was up so high as to make me feel uncomfortable. Yes, it was October, but did we really need 75 degrees indoors?!)
They also appear to have little time for my husband, which at least means that when they stopped talking to us a few months ago, we didn't feel like we were suddenly bereft.
We have a few things of mum-in-law's here (or, as lucyluuk calls hers, Monster-in-Law). Therefore my husband, not liking to hold onto something that is not his, texted his mum to ask if she wanted them back. No, came the response, she was only interested in seeing us again if we apologised to her relations. In particular, one of my husband's cousins and an uncle. The ones he really does not like.
Well, that's not going to happen any time soon, at least not from my husband, anyway. I'm quite happy to continue to ignore them, having said my piece on the subject some time back. Not that they took any notice, mind. I have always felt they consider me to be an unwelcome addition to their cosy little family, one in which they didn't treat my husband very well and where the stubbornest opinions always held the day. What's the phrase - resistance is futile? Yes, that.
However, my husband proved them all wrong and they didn't take kindly to having their noses put out of joint. Hence where we find ourselves today.
Image Credit » http://pixabay.com/en/baby-tears-small-child-sad-cry-443393/, Tania VdB at pixabay. CC0, public domain image