By in Personal

Time to reflect

So it's been some time since my last post, and with a change in social posting sites and some minor reflection, I end up here . This site is showing promise to me and I can't wait to continue to dive into it. So I've had quite the experiences in the past few weeks that I would like to share. As you know I am a current Respiratory therapy student and part of my placement involves a rotation through the NICU and the PICU, and I can tell you for sure that I have been enjoying my time. There are many sad cases and sad stories that I have to hear. There are alot of brain dead patients that I have to deal with and this is the hard part of working in these fragile environments. However, there are great kids there and the cutest babies you've ever seen. It is certainly rewarding that I can touch each individuals life... Now confidentiality is of the upmost importance when dealing with hospitals so there is not a whole lot that I can say but what I can talk about and express is the joy that some of these kids are giving to me.

You start to understand that in life there are a whole lot of situations that are very different and very unfortunate. But I guess this is all a matter of perspective because from what I have seen there has been some smiles so big you wouldn't believe on kids that are considered less fortunate. Sure they must have their awful times but let me tell you they can sure make you feel good about the work you do. It would be a joy of mine to work with these kids the rest of my life. I would consider myself extremely lucky to be part of it. Other students that I have been with have only expressed sorrow for these severely handicapped individuals, and sure I ca agree that they are in a dismal situation, but I certainly can attest to the fact that these kids know how to 'live . ' and better then most of us do.

So yes they breathe with a trach tube in there throat and most of them get around in wheel chairs and some cannot even walk but these kids have life and they work with what they have. Some of them were normal little boys and girls and then a aneurism popped or a vehicular accident occurred, and then their lives changed along with those around them.

Now its easy for us to say and discuss to fellow employees and students about how we think alot of these kids should have long ago gone off of sustaining life support and to put to rest but I for one certainly can't imagine how hard of a decision that would be to make for a believing parent. Alot of these parents have some of the biggest faiths i have seen in a individuals in my life. Miracles do happen and people do spontaneously get better. Now they do not always fully recover but even just a smidget of life is all what these parents want.

I guess I will try to keep these posts to under a 1000 words because I fear lengthy essay's might not get the attention they deserve, but none the less I feel this site will be a time of reflection for me. A time to learn and grow and blossom.

Working in the hospital certainly has it's ups and downs. It is very challenging at times, it can be stressful, but it can also be some of the finest work that men can do to contribute to the welfare of society. As I continue walking through life, I start to realize that it's not about the mistakes that we have made , or the prestige we hold, it is about the people we come into touch with and the lives that are changed as a result . I love the feeling of being appreciated and I have never felt this way more then when I have been in the presence of children. They have a pure sense about them that is revitalizing.

We are all here to help each other. As soon as we realize this, I think we will learn to smile and enjoy the very short part of the spectrum that we are here for. The hospital can either make you a hardened healthcare employee who becomes desensitized or it can make you one of the most kind, caring and compassionate individuals that you thought possible. Now I have made alot of mistakes and am a slow learner but I take pride in the fact that God is using 'the least of these' to accomplish his work . And maybe I am over exaggerating but i certainly have felt this way for a long time. I have felt a failure most of my life and want to take these moments to reclaim my life. I want to shift the negative to the positive and make this life work for me. I don't always get things right but I realize I do not always need to. Some of the best things in life were mistakes... ie. 12 book publishers turned down harry potter, Decca Records turned down the beatles (figuring they weren't sellable,) 177 years to build the tower of Piza and only 10 for it to start to lean. The point is these are great things gone wrong but it worked out for all of them.

So in this life take what you have been given and be an ambassador for what you stand for. Trust me I know it is hard, I struggle with this daily . There are days when I don't want to face the same struggles I have been facing for over 15 years now, but I have to stay strong, their are people counting on me and if not for me at least for them . It's a self pursuit of denial and its for a worthy cause. I think my life will count in the end no matter what I feel at this current moment.

So I am getting pass the 1,000 word mark and so will wrap it up. Just giving advice in this concluding paragraph. That you are special and that you are important. There are thoughts swimming around in all of our heads that we must battle and fight. For me the mornings are the very toughest but as well this is when I do some of clearest and finest thinking. Keep your head up and keep trucking on. There is an end to it after all and there is no time to waste. You may not like your current situation but you certainly can be likeable through and through and then I think opportunity will open up to you. Follow your passion and focus in on your ambition. Change the world as you can and never let yourself tell you that you are not important!!!

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HappyLady wrote on February 5, 2015, 1:33 PM

What a great post and what an amazing job you do. I think you say very well that each of us is special and important. Thank you for blessing me as I was truly blessed by your post and I would not worry about length as it was important to say what you had to say.

cheri wrote on February 24, 2015, 5:34 PM

Reflecting is an important thing for me to re evaluate my life and my plans.