By in Animals

It Was An Insult to my Fluffiness, by Guiness the Cat

It is me, Guiness the Cat. In case you didn't recognize me from the photos.

I didn't pick the photos, by the way. And I did not approve them. That is one downside of not having the patience to upload photos myself, and assigning that chore to my personal assistant.

I didn't consent to be photographed looking like that, either, and I certainly did not pose for them.

Photo (c) 2015 Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

Well, maybe the title photo. And the ones with my back turned. And the ones where I was bathing certain body parts. But other than that.

This was the sorry site I presented Saturday night after Debbi forced me into a bucket and ran water over me.

Do not listen to her. I am NOT a docile cat, and I am NOT easy. She's going to ruin my reputation as a cat making such claims.

I'll have you know I meowed pitifully in protest every minute I wasn't silently putting up with such a travesty.

Photo (c) 2015 Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

And I do not have chicken legs or a rat tail.

I would have written before now, but I had to wash my bath off me, restore my fluffiness, and then it's taken a good 48 hours to nap it off. There is a lengthy recovery period for this kind of thing, you know.

I do smell good, though.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

In case you missed it, here's how all this started.

P.S. Do not right-click on the title photo to open it larger in another tab. It's too embarrassing.

***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.


Image Credit » Photos (c) 2015 Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

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Comments

BarbRad wrote on January 26, 2015, 10:32 PM

Poor Guiness. You look very unhappy, indeed. But as I recall, you brought the need for this bath on yourself.

j2jworkz wrote on January 26, 2015, 10:37 PM

I thought I was the only one with chicken legs and a rat tail when soggy - welcome to the club - The Fluff

Magnolia wrote on January 26, 2015, 10:43 PM

hahah poor kitty..but he will feel better now.

frenchtoast78 wrote on January 26, 2015, 11:12 PM

Such an adorable cat you are! You amuse me all the time.

Feisty56 wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:01 AM

Forgive me, but you do resemble a drowned rat -- just a bit.

LilyDay wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:04 AM

Guiness, the Fuzzy Trio are properly horrified at your plight. They hope that you got plenty of 'nip as compensation for such trauma.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:13 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:14 AM

Thank you, Fluff. I need a friend just now. Sincerely, Guiness the Cat.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:15 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I had no problem with the way I smelled before.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:16 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. You're so sweet.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:17 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. You humans are all alike.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:19 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Tell the fuzzy trio I got a few treats, but they were miserable compensation for all that physical and mental anguish. Be sure to let them know I was a good cat and snubbed them until after I got out of the bathroom.

MommyCharm wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:45 AM

Haha! Guiness, again you made my day :) Don't worry honey, you still look cute and adorable in all your photos.

Hollyhocks100 wrote on January 27, 2015, 5:54 AM

If looks could kill, your tormentor would be laying on the floor now Guiness, it´s all in the eyes LOL emoticon :smile:

Nar2Reviews wrote on January 27, 2015, 8:50 AM

At least you survived the water attack Guiness!

AngelSharum wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:47 AM

LOL you are a cutie. I bet you are all soft now too.

Sheilamarie78 wrote on January 27, 2015, 12:32 PM

You sure have to put up with a lot with that personal assistant of yours. The injury to your dignity! You have a perfect right to protest profusely!

zabelle51 wrote on January 27, 2015, 10:06 PM

Ph poor baby but on the bright side your fluffiness will soon be restored and you do smell good!! :)

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:30 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. You're so sweet.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:33 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. Debbi says I'm not as mad as I look, that it's my 3 missing teeth that make me look like that (the vet stole them and didn't give them back!). Do not listen to her. I was mad.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:34 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. Just barely.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:34 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. And I smell good, too.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:35 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. It's sad what I have to go through.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 27, 2015, 11:36 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I do indeed smell good, especially after I covered up all that shampoo scent with cat spit.

Nicky wrote on January 28, 2015, 7:08 AM

Awww, shame, Guiness, you did look a sight for sore eyes. I hope you have recuperated from the ordeal. I hope you have a much better day today, than yesterday.

LilyDay wrote on January 28, 2015, 1:10 PM

As is only proper, of course. emoticon :smile:
The Fuzzy Trio always gets a tad nervous when they hear of other kitties being subjected to such things. They worry that I might get such ideas. Really, it is quite enough trauma that I won't allow Queen Kitty to chew on the computer cord!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 28, 2015, 6:16 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. A few more naps will do wonders.

GemOfAGirl wrote on January 29, 2015, 8:14 AM

Man, the NERVE of that woman! Appalling! (LOL!)

Deelark wrote on January 29, 2015, 11:24 AM

Guiness you look beautiful no matter what photo you are in.

seren3 wrote on January 29, 2015, 1:58 PM

Oh how humiliating for you! I think my Scottie suffered the same thing whenever she had to have a bath. She would even curl her lip at me when I brushed her out.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 30, 2015, 1:03 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I found it completely uncalled for. She had the nerve to tell me I didn't smell good.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 30, 2015, 1:04 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. You're so sweet. I'm glad you're here. Feel free to get paid to make as many comments as you want telling me how beautiful I am.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 30, 2015, 1:05 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I really didn't see the point. The poop would have worn off my fur by itself sooner or later.

WordChazer wrote on January 31, 2015, 2:42 PM

My, my, Guiness the one, that's quite the stink eye you're chucking out in the title photo. That pile of ash, gently smoking in the corner, have anything to do with you? Where's Debbi, anyway...?

WordChazer wrote on January 31, 2015, 2:44 PM

You might not have minded the way you smelled before, but I suspect everyone else did, Fluffball Major. Be thankful it was only a bath. Many years ago, when Fudge the family cat became acquainted with creosote, he had to be shaved.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 1, 2015, 12:27 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Debbi was cleaning up the bathroom after my bath. I was cleaning up me.

Fawkes62 wrote on February 5, 2015, 12:56 PM

You remind me of Allie the last time I gave her a bath, though that is a struggle. She is terrified of the water and meows the entire time I bathe her. I also need help as I can't keep her in the water and wash her without an extra hand or two. Thankfully she doesn't get dirty enough to need a water bath very often. The last time she did she had something sticky in her fur right below her neck on her back, a horrible spot for her to reach to clean herself. I hope you have recovered from your bath and forgave your human faster than Allie forgave me. It was a good two or three days before she forgave me.

LindaCPearson wrote on February 6, 2015, 8:36 AM

Dear dear Guiness - it's Mildred the Cat. I hardly recognized you in this photo. What an insult to your cathood and your manhood. Debbi should know better.

Willow wrote on February 13, 2015, 5:36 PM

That's too cute! My cat licks herself like crazy after a bath, too.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 14, 2015, 12:08 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Do not believe anything Debbi says about me being docile, easy, cooperative, or willing to forgive as soon as I got out of the bathroom. I'll have you know, I snubbed the treat she tried to bribe me with as a peace offering until I got out the bathroom door!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 14, 2015, 12:09 AM

Dearest Mildred the Cat,

You'd think she would know better, indeed, but yet she keeps doing it, and claims it gets easier every time.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 14, 2015, 12:10 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. It's imperative to get that horribly bath off my fur as quickly as possible.

GemstonePink wrote on February 19, 2015, 7:13 PM

Oh, you poor kitty cat. I am sure you fluff up all nice and pretty when dry!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 20, 2015, 12:11 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I am not fat. Just fluffy.

Firecracker wrote on April 18, 2015, 5:07 PM

Oh, how embarrassing! You poor kitty! But hey, at least you were able to smell purr-ty! lol

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on April 21, 2015, 4:51 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I assure you I smelled just fine before. Debbi just smelled me wrong.

Firecracker wrote on April 21, 2015, 11:08 PM

Hmm, or maybe she just wanted you to smell extra pretty! lol