By in Family

This is our house...

Fair warning, this is a rant (LOL)

Anyways, for those who don't know, I live with my in-laws (mom, sisters, brother and a host of kids) although we don't technically live in the "same house" coz we have our own separate little nook there, a small house generally separated from the main house, we pass by the same gate but we do have our own entrance and don't have to enter the main house to get to where we live. So, last week, I wanted to "renovate" a little and put a window where there was once a door (long been closed) we enter thru a different door, but my mother-in-law didn't want to remove the door. She said that we are closing everything and what if an emergency arise and we can't go through the door. I was going to put a sliding window and a grill that can be opened in case of emergency, I was trying to reason with her and she said "shut up already, this is our house, this is our house" meaning I don't have a right to do anything that she didn't want done. Okay, so I've already spent a good amount of money renovating that "little house" because we do live in it and want it to be the most comfortable for my family, since the space is cramped and there are 4 of us living there (hubby, me, daughter, son)

I've been living here for 14 years (and sad to say, counting) and I know that I did my best to get along with everyone, not pressing my opinions even if my whole being was shouting for it, taking extra steps to avoid conflict and all the likes, and all the while I thought that I was accepted, loved even by these people, I dare call my family, since my own family (mom,brother,sister) is in Canada, so they are the ones I consider my family here in the Philippines but this particular event made me realize otherwise. It hurts to be set aside like that, for your opinion to not matter because "it's their's".

My mother-in-law recanted her words though and told my husband to tell me a sort of a sorry for the way she behaved and she also told him that it's okay to do the window. Well, I told my husband, no already.. after she tells me that this is hers and i don't have any right to it, I will not spend one more penny to renovate this house. It might be my pride, but for now, I think that's all I've got, so I'm hanging on for dear life.

Now, I don't go to the main house if I can, but stay in our own little nook, planning my little schemes (LOL) hoping to by the end of the year or early next year to move in to our own house (keeping my fingers crossed) and that's what I'm planning to fix to my heart's content

You will need an account to comment - feel free to register or login.


motrojam wrote on January 22, 2015, 4:28 AM

Yes, it is better to have your own house and lot that is away from the common house. It is there where you are the queen and can do whatever renovations you would like.

bestwriter wrote on January 22, 2015, 4:55 AM

Nothing like having one's own home no matter how small it could be. You keep wishing for it and it will happen one day.

scheng1 wrote on January 22, 2015, 9:12 AM

I hope you can buy your own house soon, and do whatever you want.

Kasman wrote on January 22, 2015, 2:35 PM

It is always awkward when we are forced to live with our in-laws. The sooner you get your own place the better.

Maplewinter wrote on January 23, 2015, 8:05 AM

Sounds like she feels threatened by you . Ultimately she is alpha female and the most dominant in the household. I know you have been there a long time but as you said you have always tried to keep the peace even if it goes against what you feel. Now you have tried to change something that is a part of the family home she feels threatened by you thus the display of dominance by saying no you can't do it.

Hope that you get things sorted and you can go back to getting along. Moving out might actually be the key to a peaceful relationship with her.

paperdaisyflower7 wrote on January 24, 2015, 3:34 AM

good lucj hope you can save to buy your own house soon