Interview With The Gods - Mammon
Jack Luckhold (TV presenter) - Welcome boys and girls, to another interview with a real God, or possibly another demon in this case as my guest this week is the real power behind my salary – Mammon. Welcome, friend.
Mammon – Thanks. Say, Buddy, could you spare me a few dimes towards a cup of coffee?
Jack – You are joking, I hope?
Mammon – had you going there for a second didn’t I Jack?
Jack – You sure did. Now seriously, what is it like being the God of wealth & capital?
Mammon – not as sweet as you’d think. Religionists tell their followers not to worship me while amassing their own fortunes; I’m seen as the root of all evil, and socialists hold me in great contempt too.
Jack – Isn’t it the case that you put too much money in too few hands? Would it hurt to redistribute some of it to the poor and really needy, instead of the affluent & greedy?
Mammon – I’m the God of money – not of the people who want it. I just make sure the money itself is happy and flowing round – it’s effect on the people who have it, need it or hate it isn’t my concern.
Jack – isn’t that rather callous and insensitive?
Mammon – Hell, no. A God of mountains causes avalanches whether or not people are in the way. It’s mountains he cares about – not people. Same with money – my job is to make money generate more money – who gets it or doesn’t get it is not my concern.
Jack – but without people there would be no money. There’s only people who need to save or spend money.
Mammon – very true, but money is a force that moves and changes the world – my job is to watch over that. Caring about people is another department. Do you think your dollars care whether they are in your pocket or the till at a bar, or in the purse of one of those gold-diggers you visit?
Jack – OK, moving swiftly on. Are you a God or a devil?
Mammon – depends who says. Jesus slags me off in his Sermon On The Mount, but who paid for the people to travel there, and eat?
Jack – You look rather wolf-like. Is it true you live in a cave?
Mammon – Of course – where better to hide the real money. I don’t trust banks. They believe too much in me and they end up going bust too easily.
Jack – Would you say you’re a miser and a hoarder?
Mammon – I need to be – more and more money will find its way to me and I feed on the souls of those who bring it.
Jack – Isn’t it true that getting to Heaven for the rich is harder than getting a camel through a needle’s eye?
Mammon – Not when you can afford a giant golden needle and have the power to shrink a camel like I can.
Jack – They say money can’t buy you happiness.
Mammon – money can buy you caviar and whisky and a night in the red light district to compensate for that though.
Jack – There are whole nations starving – why is so much money in American hands?
Mammon – feel free to mail your wages to Uganda any time Jack. I’m not stopping you. You could replace your stretch-limo with an old Cadialac any time. I don’t deal with your morals; just the capital.
Jack – but you’ll eat my soul if I die rich?
Mammon – Human souls tend to glue themselves to the money and gold. I have to lick them off the wealth. I can take an eternity. If you let go of the money in time, I can’t get you. It’s that simple – it’s all down to time.
Jack – Talking of time, that’s it for this week. See you next time folks, hopefully with a nicer God.
Mammon – hey; that’s not fai….