Helping a friend decide what is best for them.
Friends oftentimes turn to us for advice. Just remember to take things with a grain of salt if they don't not take the advice you ultimately gave them. Remember that your friend is NOT you and that while you are trying to help, chances are you are saying what you would do in that situation. A good friend will thank you for your advice regardless of what they decide. A good friend will thank you for listening and you as a good friend were NOT being asked for advice so you could be all judgemental.
Sometimes all your friend needed was a sounding board, someone to hear what they say, what they're going through and to get feedback. When they were talking things out with you, they may have already been coming up with a solution and that solution may or may not mesh with your thoughts on what to do.
I have a friend with a current dilemma. I would never dream of telling my friend to stop trying to fix things in his relationship. It is not what he wants to hear when he tells me how things are going. I told him once and only once my opinion and he knows it. I admire the fact that he takes his wedding vows seriously. So many people today are willing to get divorced. No one takes the vows "for better or for worse" seriously anymore.
He is unhappy in his current location. He lives in an area with a cheaper cost of living than here, but the majority of his friends and family are here in the NYC and NJ area. There I do not hesitate to tell him what I would do - repeatedly as he hasn't told me to shut up. Lol. I am moving upstate. Cheaper cost of living. Much closer to NYC (and his family here in NJ - I am close with his family except one sister). He no longer wants to rent. He is concerned about job opportunities and finishing school. I sent him links to houses he considers within his budgets in areas with good school districts (not in the same town as I plan to move to, but in the general vicinity). I sent him links to local job boards including the local public transportation system and local airport which pay well and provide full benefits. I sent him the links to local colleges he could attend to further his education and he thanked him.
I asked him how he feels about where he lives and he said, he hates it there, but he cannot make decisions based on what he wants, but what is best for his family. I told him it is best for his family if he is happy. He is not happy there and that will not change. He is over 17 hours away from his family and friends here. The area I provided him info with is less that 4 hours away. I told him I know he could be happy there, but he is nervous and that is understandable. Even unhappy, he knows what he is in for where he is at. It is familiar. It is hard to make moves - job change, change in location, etc. It is a lot to process.
Whatever he decides, I just want my friend to be happy because that is what good friends want. Friends after all are the family we choose.
Image Credit » selfie.