By in Personal

I'm ashamed to tell you, but I have to talk about this!

I hope the picture shows up and I hope it doesn’t gross you out, but I thought you could get an accurate idea of what I am writing about. I have this compulsion to pick at the hairs on my leg and then pick at the skin. I try to remove the hair follicle. I think I know what triggered this behavior because I never did it before that. What happened was, I was devastated when Yahoo ‘voices crashedYou may ask does it hurt? Not at first, it doesn’t. I won’t even know I’m doing it because it is so automatic.

However, there does come a point where I dig deep enough to come near a nerve and there is extreme pain. Do I stop? NO. I will try to grasp the hairs or whiskers with my fingers and yank them out fast like ripping off a band-aid. If I still can’t get at the hair I will use a pair of tweezers to get it. Am I done then? NO.

After all that pain I start digging deeper to try and get the hair follicle out of the sore so the hairs won’t grow back. Last night I got something hard out like a piece of fingernail and I was then satisfied with my efforts and left my leg alone. Was I done? Nope! I then went to my chin and felt for imperfections and started picking.

I had to shorten this to fit the criteria of the site.


Image Credit » OreoBrownies123

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Comments

inkedwriter wrote on January 5, 2015, 11:37 AM

No need to be ashamed, but there is a need to get help. Admitting that you have this problem is a huge first step.

Colibry21 wrote on January 5, 2015, 11:41 AM

I hope that it gets better. It can't be pleasant to deal with.

Hollyhocks100 wrote on January 5, 2015, 11:43 AM

You do need help with this, seeing a psychologist is not as scary as it sounds. It was very brave of you to put up this post, make that your first, but not last step to getting this compunction under control please. Good luck xx

phoenixmaid wrote on January 5, 2015, 11:54 AM

Big hugs, Please try not to feel ashamed there is help out there for compulsive behavior and you really do need to speak to your gp and get access to it. you have been brave enough to share this with us all please take that bravery with you and get the help you need xx

PineMartens wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:04 PM

I could be wrong but I think it's a sign of trichotillomania? a compulsion to pull out hair but can also include picking at skin etc. You don't have to feel ashamed about it at all - you might be surprised at how many others do it too.

OreoBrownies123 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:19 PM

Hi Inkedwriter. Yes I believe what you said is true. I have been so ashamed I would not mention it to the doctor and my self-esteem is sort of in the toilet right now so I don't even want to go out in public. I really can't anyway, due to being sick all the time... which might be part of it too.

OreoBrownies123 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:21 PM

Hi Colibry21, no it's not easy to deal with or pleasant because there is great pain involved but I can't stop. It's like being addicted to cigarettes. It is so hard to stop because it is part of me now. I have to stop because I read that I could get septicemia and it could cause a bad infection or even in rare cases a person could die.

OreoBrownies123 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:23 PM

Thank you Phoenixmaid. I will do that this month when I go to the doctor. It's getting out of control.

OreoBrownies123 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:24 PM

Hi Hollyhocks100. I know that is what my doctor will say, but I just can't afford an extra copay. My doctor, GP, did say I could come and talk to her any time I needed to talk. The copay for her is just $15. She knows my financial situation.

OreoBrownies123 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:26 PM

Hi PineMartens. Yes that is part of it, but the skin picking is another kind of mania along the same lines referring to the dermis.

Colibry21 wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:47 PM

Maybe go consult a doctor, or something. They may be able to help and give you a clearer idea of it is, and how to get rid of it.

paigea wrote on January 5, 2015, 12:50 PM

You could have made your article much longer if you chose to. I don't know if there is an upper limit here, but many articles are longer than this one. I knew someone who kept pulling their hair out from their head. She used tweezers at times too. Talking about it here will help others who have this know they are not alone. I hope you get some help for this. Take care.

AngelSharum wrote on January 5, 2015, 2:05 PM

You definitely need to talk to your doctor about this. Surely there is some way to get the help you need so you can stop hurting yourself.