By in Family

I don't know why I dread family gatherings

I have been dreading a big family gathering that was to take place today for weeks. The noise! The kids running around! The confusion! The hassle!

I finally had to wrap the gifts for our extended family Christmas and go today. I almost came up with an excuse not to go. But I decided to go, give out the gifts and get out of there as fast as possible.

I have no issues with anyone who was going to be there. I love my family. I just didn't want to deal with the chaos that ensues from so many kids running around and so many people in general. I am such a scrooge.

We just got home and it was fine. Yes, the kids ran around and there were a LOT of them. But they didn't bother me. Of course people talked to me. That is what I was there for - to mingle. I enjoyed the conversations and even enjoyed the gift giving and receiving. It was a nice gathering with people I love and some others I know and like. There was nothing dreadful about it.

I don't know why I do that to myself. I talk myself out of going places and I dread going to places I have to go to only to find out I actually end up enjoying myself. I'm glad to be home in my yoga pants and hoodie with little dog on my lap but I am also glad I went to the party and enjoyed the company of others.

I need to stop dreading and start looking forward to gatherings like this. There are people out there who have no family or whose families are far away or fractured. We're all close by and all get along. I have no idea why I dread getting together.

Next gathering - January 10. And yet another on January 18. I am not going to say it but yeah, I kind of dread going. Haha. Some things never change!


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bestwriter wrote on January 4, 2015, 10:19 PM

I was a party addict. Organised all of them at my place specially the Xmas 'do's My parties gave equal importance to every one from a 2 year old to the 80 year old. I did attend a party that was organised by someone else and saw how 'groupy' it was. I gave up attending family parties from then on as I had stopped organising them myself. :(

Feisty56 wrote on January 4, 2015, 10:21 PM

I am the same way, not only about family gatherings but going just about any where. I realize, though, by doing that I have isolated myself to a point. Like you, once I get where I'm going, everything is okay -- it's the idea of going that is the problem.

wolfgirl569 wrote on January 4, 2015, 10:29 PM

I dont like going either but usually do end up enjoying myself also. I think a lot of it is just the what if this or that happens. And it never does.

celticeagle wrote on January 4, 2015, 10:39 PM

Family is family. Chaotic and over loving at times. I hate social gathering anyway.

BodieMor wrote on January 4, 2015, 11:02 PM

My dreads have to do with creating those very gatherings and hoping they come off without my having a nervous breakdown. I go through a litany of "It will all turn out fine; everyone will enjoy themselves -- and it always does and they always do. Yet the weird cycle continues, as in your case... Good luck to both of us! emoticon :winking:

momathome wrote on January 4, 2015, 11:31 PM

For some reason I never mind the ones where there will be lots of kids present but its the ones where there are just lots of adults present that I dread going to. Of course I've always loved kids and have lots of patience with them, it's adults that frequently get on my nerves, lol.

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:33 AM

I am no fan of parties really because they ARE like little cliques usually. This one was not too bad because certain people who come and sit together and won't talk to anyone else didn't come. I just don't like the chaos but it was not bad tonight. But there were 16 little kids there. Yikes.

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:35 AM

I have anxiety and long ago was agoraphobic. I think to an extent I still am. I just prefer to stay home to being in crowds with the noise and the chatter and the confusion. But once I do get there, USUALLY things are fine. I didn't have the time of my life but it was pleasant and a way to get out of the house, something I have to do more of.

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:37 AM

I hate getting ready. If it is a birthday or other gift giving one, buying gifts, wrapping them, picking out an outfit and accessories, hair, makeup, etc, BLAH. I used to love doing all that but not now. I would rather kick around in yoga pants and a tank top than get ready for a party. But I dressed down and was comfortable. I "what if" all the time.

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:39 AM

Glad I am not the only one. It was OK and nothing crazy happened but sometimes at these gatherings people fight and argue and there is drama. I hate drama! Still, I love my family and it was nice to see all two million of them. lol

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:41 AM

I refuse to do it. I am just not one to organize...anything. Usually my niece (in her late 30's) does it and we all bring food and drinks and help out. She does the initial planning though. She seems to enjoy it which is great because none of the rest of us do!

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:43 AM

I love kids but wow. There were 16 there today ranging in age from babies to 17 years old. Lots of little guys running around with Nerf guns and balloons. I did confiscate a baby though for a while. SO cute. But she went back to Mommy when she started fussing! lol.

PattyTherre wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:45 AM

I talk myself out of doing things I HAVE To do like go to the doctor for something that really needs to be addressed. I actually rationalize that I am too sick to go. lol. I am trying not to do that though and not to say NO immediately but to think about it first and go unless I really can't stand the idea or don't want to go or do what people are asking me to.

Telynor wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:48 AM

I don't really have any family any more, so this is pretty much a moot topic for me. But oh, how I dreaded being at my mother's for holidays and the like -- after about fifteen minutes of forced politeness, the knives came out and went for the jugular. It was awful, and I started to make excuses ---working at my job to cover the holiday shift was a good reason to stay away.

onelove wrote on January 5, 2015, 5:36 AM

You are not alone.There is something about family gatherings.

BarbRad wrote on January 5, 2015, 1:02 PM

I'm kind of the same way. It's not the gathering I dread so much, though, as the trip to get to the family.

Colibry21 wrote on January 5, 2015, 2:44 PM

I can't say that I always enjoy going to them either.

WordChazer wrote on January 5, 2015, 4:42 PM

The rellies closest in distance to us are the ones currently not talking to us. Makes keeping in touch with the others a bit more difficult, I have to say. So. in dreading family gatherings, you have my sympathies.

acrogodess914 wrote on January 5, 2015, 8:58 PM

I get anxious too when I have to go to large gatherings.
The funny thing is I am usually fine at the gathering. Not sure why I dread it except that it drags me out of my comfort zone.

momathome wrote on January 8, 2015, 12:05 AM

PattyTherre My husband always gets mad at me when we go to things like that because I'm running around with the kids and ignoring the adults, lol.

grandma20121 wrote on January 13, 2015, 10:30 PM

Geesh it sounds just like me when it comes to family gatherings I start making all sorts of excuse (to myself of coarse) way before the gatherings are to take place, only I still feel the same way I lack peace and quiet in my life so these events really get on my nerves.

cheri wrote on March 1, 2015, 8:10 AM

I am not also fond of family gatherings especially long distance relatives. I don't dread it I am not just comfortable