By in Parenting

I said That To Dad, damnit

Today, I was having conversation with my dad and he was keep blaming me that you are doing nothing. Wasting my all time on Internet.

The thing is that he has some kind of problem from me. he never said anything cool like well done, Congratulations.

When I was kid and at that time he always want me to stood first. Okay I did it but sometimes I came up second and I know that part when he always used to beat me that why Second why not first. When I came up with First class still he has problem that why you don't have 100% marks. From that day he always having problem with me.

I don't know what I did wrong but When I was kid, I got lot of fear from him. Now still he has some kind of problem. He always interrupt me in every work. Whether I am doing work, play, Study, eating. I got that he is that type of person who thinks that he know everything and others are fool around here.

And I said it today that You are always having problem for me. You never like me. And all that stuff. I am feeling kind of weird now. Is it ok or I said something worse

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autumntale wrote on December 27, 2014, 1:08 AM

It's really not good for an adult to instigate fear to children. The outcome in the future is terrible.

MegL wrote on December 27, 2014, 6:14 AM

An uncle of mine used to say jokingly to his children, "You only got 94% in your exam? What happened to the other 6 marks?" He WAS only joking, in his terms but his children didn't see it that way. Parents often feel that they have wasted their own lives and they do not want their children to make the same mistakes as them, so very often, they criticise everything they do, that it is never good enough. They do not seem to realise that:
(a) children are doing things for the first time, so they need to consider how to do it
(b) whatever is being learnt needs to be practised
(c) children need encouragement.
I think that what your father has done has been more to do with how he feels about himself. Many people, when they criticise, are criticising THEMSELVES, he is putting on to you how HE feels about himself. It is not a good thing to do but he does not seem to be aware of this. I am sorry you feel sad but you have made clear how you feel, which should help you. Maybe he will now consider what he has been doing all these years.

MakeMoneyOnline wrote on December 27, 2014, 10:03 AM

Well, my friend's father was like that and she turned out great. One of the smartest people I know. My uncle was like this to his kids and one has become a doctor, the other two are also doing OK. I do know that he loves them very much, it's just his standards are extremely high because he followed them all his life and has become an extremely successful person. My point is, some people are just like this. Can't blame them. A friendly talk can also smooth the things out

Porcospino wrote on December 28, 2014, 10:29 AM

It is sounds like your father is very ambitious and expects perfect results. My father is like that as well. I am not a student anymore, but it was always very important to him that I received the best grades in the class. Some people are like that and it can be hard to live up to that even if you do your best. People who expect others to be perfect often have the same kinds of high expectations of themselves and your father is probably a perfectionist. I don't think that you should blame yourself for the things you said. Maybe your father will understand how you feel, or maybe not, but at least you have expressed your feelings.