By in Humor

Dumb Stuff I Have Observed

1. Cat Echolocation: When walking with you in the dark, your cat emits frequent meows to let you know where he is, because he has finally figured out that you can't see, and he's tired of getting kicked.

2. The Fluffy Shuffle: the foot-dragging walk you have to adopt when walking in the dark to keep from kicking your cat anyway because, despite Cat Echolocation, he is still Right. In. Your. Way.

3. Who is this Pinky dude, and why does he swear so much?

4. If you gentlemen REALLY want to know exactly what goes on in a woman's mind, read any book by Barbara Kingsolver. Go ahead; I'll wait. Uh huh, I thought so.

5. And what's wrong with seeing ghosts? If they're around, it wouldn't be so bad to keep tabs on 'em.

6. 65 degrees is cold in your house, but lovely outside. 78 degrees is blazing hot in your house, fan or no fan, but a perfect day outside, provided there's a little breeze. This proves that Nature is infinitely smarter than Man.

7. I'm a big fan of recycling, but Soylent Green still creeps me out

8. When you are standing in the grocery store, trying to remember whether you have aluminum foil: Yes, you do. You have five rolls of it, in fact. It's the bread you're forgetting!

9. My best method of procrastination is to make endless "to do" lists.

10. You must take a mint whenever anyone offers one, "whether you need it or not".


Here's more Dumb Stuff!

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autumntale wrote on December 27, 2014, 1:17 AM

I would never want to see ghosts around me. Wow, it reminds me of the movie way back 1999! That was awesome.

AliCanary wrote on December 27, 2014, 2:17 AM

Yeah, that was a good movie. Scary!

nbaquero wrote on December 27, 2014, 7:46 AM

Hilarious! CatEcholocation and FlufflyShuffle sure deserve more investigation by the scientific community &AilCanary emoticon :winking: No. 4 is pointless as we will never understand women!

scheng1 wrote on December 27, 2014, 9:05 AM

If ghosts can do the housework, I would love them.

VinceSummers wrote on December 27, 2014, 9:12 AM

Dumb stuff I have observed: a woman buying a tiny pocketbook. Like, really? You expect me to believe that will prove useful to YOU?

AliCanary wrote on December 27, 2014, 3:22 PM

Probably not--the desire to understand must be more powerful than the desire to just moan about it, lol

BarbRad wrote on December 27, 2014, 5:52 PM

My favorites are numbers 4, 6, 8, and 9. I completely relate to number eight.

nbaquero wrote on December 28, 2014, 6:19 AM

Oh boy, we are in perpetual trouble emoticon :winking:

AliCanary wrote on December 28, 2014, 2:57 PM

Oh, yes, I have an embarrassing amount of aluminum foil!

AliCanary wrote on December 28, 2014, 2:58 PM

Wouldn't that be awesome? Helpful ghosties!

AliCanary wrote on December 28, 2014, 3:02 PM

Ah, now here is an example of a man not understanding. Teeny purses are PRECIOUS. But also, they actually do serve a purpose. A small clutch is frequently used as an evening bag, because, unlike you gentlemen, we do NOT have pockets in our evening wear, and so the bag is to hold a few essentials such as a lipstick, compact, breath mints, emergency cash, and keys.

AliCanary wrote on December 28, 2014, 3:03 PM

You could put that one on a sticky note on the mirror!

GemOfAGirl wrote on January 15, 2015, 12:28 PM

#8. Although for me, it's not aluminum foil. It's frozen corn and vanilla extract. Which sucks, because the corn takes up too much space in my freezer and the extract is dang blasted expensive!

valmnz wrote on February 2, 2015, 6:58 PM

My cat Smooch agrees with you! And No 8 is definitely my shopping style.

iwrite28 wrote on June 26, 2015, 8:22 AM

Love the phrase creation and definitions you have in 1 and 2. Agree totally with 6 and 10.

AliCanary wrote on June 27, 2015, 11:13 AM

Thank you! I got number 10 from my mom, so she gets the credit for that one!

DWDavisRSL wrote on July 23, 2015, 9:31 AM

Re , if they are offering you one, you need it. , me too. , I'm not going to read it, I don't want to know.