By in Personal

I'm still grieving

It's that time of the year again when people visit their departed loved ones. Flowers and candles are being sold everywhere. It's also the time of the year I can eat Filipino delicacies made of glutinous rice.

This time of the year is not the happiest for me. I'm still grieving for the tragic loss of my parents who died almost 24 years ago. This time of the year brings back painful memories. It reminds me of how difficult life was living without my parents to guide us. Not being able to hug them, not being able to sit on my father's lap, and not hearing their voice.

I feel sad that I didn't get to see their happiness when we finished our education and that we have done as they wished. I feel sad that they didn't get the chance to hold and spend time with their grandchildren. I knew it would have been such a joy if they did.


Image Credit » frenchtoast78

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Comments

ViperGirl85 wrote on November 2, 2014, 12:54 AM

I am so sorry to hear of this. :( I lost my Daddy last year so I sort of know what you're going through. I hope you will be okay!

BarbRad wrote on November 2, 2014, 1:58 AM

I'm sorry. Feelings of grief often are stronger on holidays and anniversaries of the death. I doubt if we ever are completely over that grief.

MegL wrote on November 2, 2014, 3:01 AM

I am sorry you lost your parents in tragic circumstances, sometimes I dream of my parents and tell them what has happened, rather like talking to them on the telephone.

SandraLPetersen wrote on November 2, 2014, 8:41 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss. Grief is a powerful thing. It can hold on for many years and those who have not lost a close loved one don't always understand that. I lost my father to lung cancer two months after we lost our third daughter to SIDS. I was the one who found our baby dead and one week before Thanksgiving that same year (1992) I sat with my father in the hospice room and told him the angels had come for him when he took his last breath. I'll never forget and those two things have made the holidays especially difficult off and on through the years. Don't be ashamed to get alone and cry for your parents. It can be a healing thing. Another thing that can help is to establish a tradition in honor of your loved ones who have passed on. For years after the death of our baby, we sponsored a girl in another country who would have been the same age as our little one. That meant sending money to the sponsor organization for her birthday and at Christmas. It did help.

LeaPea2417 wrote on November 2, 2014, 10:35 AM

I am very sorry to learn this. As time goes on it is suppose to get better, but many times it does not.

allen0187 wrote on November 2, 2014, 8:57 PM

I'm sorry to hear this Toni. Grief is a very strong emotion. Sadly, it takes a long time to overcome it.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 3, 2014, 4:18 AM

Thank you and I'm sorry about your dad. Your pain is fresher than mine. It's never good to lose someone we love.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 3, 2014, 4:19 AM

I think we will never really get over that grief. Life continues but we would always have that part in our hearts for grieving.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 3, 2014, 4:20 AM

I dream of them once in awhile, like they were never gone at all and never aged.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 3, 2014, 4:22 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your baby. Your pain is far greater and incomparable to mine. I can't imagine losing my son at all. Thank you for sharing.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 3, 2014, 4:22 AM

Life continues as they say, but nobody is over grieving the loss of loved ones I guess.

ViperGirl85 wrote on November 9, 2014, 9:56 PM

I never measure it by who's pain is fresher; a loss is painful regardless, and I am so sorry to hear of yours.

celticeagle wrote on November 14, 2014, 7:35 PM

So sorry you don't have your parents in your life anymore. I hope you have some great memories of them. And I am relatively sure they are watching over you.

frenchtoast78 wrote on November 14, 2014, 7:47 PM

I have wonderful memories of my parents and as a parent now, they are my models in raising my son.

celticeagle wrote on November 14, 2014, 10:20 PM

Glad of that and GOOD FOR YOU! Memories are what makes the world go around I think. Or keeps it going round anyway.