By in Random

How many is too many?

I just read an article about the dude with five wives filing bankruptcy , and it made me stop and think about how other people's decisions can affect us all. Whatever you feel about polygamy, having multiple wives and a boatload of kids isn't practical if you can't afford to care for them all. They might not be living on public assistance (yet), but when someone files bankruptcy, we all still pay in the form of higher costs of doing business with the companies who lose money when people don't pay up.

Any of us can fall on hard times even with the most careful financial planning, so I'm not poking my finger at all large families. I don't know anything about this particular family with the five wives and 24 kids, so for all I know they might have had the means to support that large a brood before something changed; it's just that that particular family in the news got me thinking about this type of situation.

Still, I'm sure they're compensated well for their appearance on the TV show, "My Five Wives", so one can only speculate that their income was mismanaged. Did the wives think that being instant celebrities also brought instant wealth? Are they living the celebrity lifestyle on a suburban America budget?

Many of my friends have large families - some who planned it that way, and others who had an 'oops' or two. I have no issue with either case, as long as you're just not pushing out babies year after year with the idea that it's no big deal if you can't afford them, because someone else will pick up the slack when you can't. I'm also not advocating that anyone who has an unexpected pregnancy should have an abortion if they don't think they can afford a(nother) child. That's a decision each woman has to come to based on her own personal/spiritual beliefs. I'm just saying that in this day of the entitlement mentality, no one should have many wives and dozens of kids intentionally without having a plan to take care of them.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with an opinion on this topic, but please, no daggers. I'm not trying to lump all large families into one category.

( Donna_Thacker , see what you started?)

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MaeLou wrote on October 18, 2014, 11:38 AM

I'm a large family but not polygamy type lol. I don't know about that situation, but we care for our kids on our own (we have 4) and some months we struggle depending on what comes up. I have people that have said I have too many kids, but I take care of them, on my own.. no state help or anything like that. I do agree that if you can barely afford the ones you have, you probably shouldn't have anymore. If you are already on state funding, don't have another... just my opinion - and one coming from a family of 6 :)

Donna_Thacker wrote on October 18, 2014, 11:39 AM

Hey at least I gave you something to think about, LOL. I always wondered how Brady Williams managed to support that many people (even though the wives do work too). I am surprised that their life didn't get better after the show. Surely the network paid a fairly good sum? The fact that two of the wives want more children is overwhelming to me.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 11:44 AM

I think we're on the same page, MaeLou . As I said, I have many friends with more kids than I could ever handle, financially or otherwise, and I'm not judging, whether they be planned pregnancies or not. But with the entitlement mentality today, poor work ethic, etc., there are far too many people out there having more kids who have no business doing so. It's not fair to anyone.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 11:46 AM

And I'm also not saying that it's a bad thing when someone needs a little help from public assistance or family/friends when something comes up, because it can happen to any of us. My beef is with those who think ahead to rely on those things instead of planning for how to do it on their own.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 11:47 AM

And that right there ticks me off. If you already know you can't afford to feed the family that you have, why have more? Bankruptcy isn't a free ride. The people holding the debts that you're writing off have families to feed too.

Kasman wrote on October 18, 2014, 12:05 PM

This situation isn't confined to the US. Here in the UK it is not unknown for young women to churn out children (often from several different fathers) and live on the generous welfare system the UK has. I know of at least one mother who advised her daughter to have children as soon as she could because doing so would give the daughter access to social housing and many benefit payments.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 12:10 PM

It's a sad situation, to be sure. What hope do we have for mankind in future generations if this is what we're teaching our children?

Karenb wrote on October 18, 2014, 12:20 PM

Never knew that show existed. I saw something about it in the feed on Facebook, but didn't even click on it. This is all I have.

lgunnin wrote on October 18, 2014, 12:54 PM

Not only do I think you're right about the need to be able to afford the children you have intentionally, or do your best to afford the ones you have unintentionally, I think it is irresponsible for 6 people to replace themselves with 24 more. The planet is already overpopulated and in my mind, having that many children is irresponsible to both society and the planet.

Dawnwriter wrote on October 18, 2014, 12:55 PM

Well five certainly is too many. I can't imagine the level of noise in the house:-)

Scorpie wrote on October 18, 2014, 1:43 PM

Five wives? Oh no I don't think so. I can barely get a handle on one!

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 2:31 PM

I think for some men it's an ego thing. "Look what I did!" They take the 'go forth and multiply' thing a little too seriously.

somedsatisfied wrote on October 18, 2014, 2:44 PM

I read the wives have over $180K in credit card debt. Whoa! That's just insane.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 2:47 PM

It is! I guess if you divide that by five families it's not so bad, but still ... how can one man/head of household be responsible for all that?

lgunnin wrote on October 18, 2014, 3:20 PM

Probably! I'm sure each of the women also wanted her own children, so that adds to the number. Still, I think it's both financially and socially irresponsible. I understand large families. My grandparents had six children that lived to adulthood. But that was a very different time.

TheTalker wrote on October 18, 2014, 5:50 PM

I have always thought this guy should not be on TV. The ideas he shared with the world was not what America should be about.

Ruby3881 wrote on October 18, 2014, 6:48 PM

I live near the community of Bountiful, where one of our neighbours is reputed to have something like two dozen wives and a hundred children. To my mind, a handful of wives is nothing compared with this family.

Ldyjarhead wrote on October 18, 2014, 6:54 PM

Ohmygoodness, what are they THINKING? What is the purpose of all that?

allen0187 wrote on October 19, 2014, 9:35 PM

This is indeed a sad situation. I've seen families here in Manila not have enough to support their children and yet, year after year the wife gets pregnant.

poddys wrote on October 21, 2014, 11:43 AM

There was a news item a few weeks ago locally here in the UK about a man with 24 kids, multiple mothers, and he was complaining that the 4 bedroom house he was "forced" to live in was too small.

None of them work, the government pays them more in benefits a month than many people earn, including paying for their housing, and he is badly off???

It really hits a nerve when people use the system to avoid having to work, and are so often better off than those who do. They also very often have children just for the additional benefits that they bring.

All so very wrong, and that's just from the financial perspective, not to mention bad parenting and the even bigger strain on society when those kids grow up and do the same.

carolscash wrote on October 21, 2014, 9:03 PM

I don't know much about polygamy but I don't know how these families make ends meet when it seems that the wives are usually home. I wondered the other night when I watched this if any of the wives worked and what he done if he was the only one working to make that kind of money.

Linda-From-US wrote on October 24, 2014, 5:01 PM

I can where you are coming from, honestly. I remember sitting in my senior class and hearing a couple of girls talking about how they intentionally wanted to get pregnant and go on welfare. I was so stunned. I never heard of such a thing in my life. Now, I have heard sadder stories than that. Years later, I heard that these girls had a couple of babies and found out that welfare didn't pay enough to raise them. They ended up getting jobs.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on November 15, 2014, 8:52 PM

I'm with you. Barring unforeseen tragedy, no one should intentionally take on more than they can realistically plan to be able to care for. No matter what your family or financial situation is, everyone should strive to live within their means.

LeaPea2417 wrote on December 15, 2015, 11:37 PM

I have always said , if a man can have more than one wife, why can't a woman have more than one husband? I am serious about this question!