By in Animals

Face South, by Guiness the Cat

Hello, this is Guiness the Cat.

First of all, let me say that Debbi is a very good shot giver. It doesn't hurt a bit when she gives me my insulin injections twice a day. In fact, most of the time I don't feel it at all.

That's not the issue here. The issue is she doesn't know right from left.

Seriously. Don't tell her to turn left or turn right. Tell her to turn that-a-way or this-a-way, and point while you're doing it. Or give her compass directions. She's absolutely fine with east and west. It's only left and right that confuse her.

So I humor her when it comes time to alternate which side I get my shot on. In the morning, she will tell me to face south, so I turn right. At night, I face north.

Debbi can remember north at night because they both start with N. She can't tell you where N comes in the alphabet, but that's another post for another day.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

***

Content (c) 2014 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.


Image Credit » Photo (c) 2013 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

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Comments

GemOfAGirl wrote on September 16, 2014, 3:10 PM

Aw, come on, Guiness, cut Debbi a little slack - I'm sure she's trying very hard!

bestwriter wrote on September 16, 2014, 8:41 PM

Its always you. Right? You do no wrong, coming for your shots on your own is a big thing you do - that's what I read somewhere. Next time say something nice about those who care for you. OK, OK I hear you loud and clear. No cat will ever come for the shot on their own They have to be held by the nape. :)

BarbRad wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:03 AM

I have a bit of trouble with right and left myself now and then. Just ask my Hubby.

aolo wrote on September 17, 2014, 4:03 AM

hahahaha that she gives you insulin shots...that got me on the floor laughing my ribs out...or is there a pun intended??

Nicky wrote on September 17, 2014, 8:12 AM

Shame Guiness, she's trying to help you, but I know my right from left - but the compass direction - hehehe.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:23 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. It doesn't matter how hard Debbi works. She still doesn't know her alphabet without singing the song, and still doesn't know right from left.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:26 PM

I said Debbi was a good shot giver. Actually she is an excellent shot giver. She can do it with her eyes closed (and demonstrates occasionally).

And I really do come on my own to get my shots. Most of the time I sit and wait patiently for Debbi to get the syringe ready. Sometimes I don't, and jump into her lap to hurry her up. She still has scars on her legs from the last time.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:27 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I'll take your word for it. You're so much like Debbi sometimes, I find it highly believable.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:31 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. Um, no, no pun. I have feline diabetes. It's not a joke. I get two units of insulin twice a day and am on a high protein, low carb diet. Right now my blood glucose control is excellent, and I'm otherwise healthy for a 17-year-old cat, but not all diabetic cats are that fortunate.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 17, 2014, 3:33 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. At least, other than right or left, Debbi has a pretty good sense of direction, but she gets really confused if you turn the map upside down.

Bethany1202 wrote on September 17, 2014, 4:39 PM

Lots of people have problems with directions! ; P

GemOfAGirl wrote on September 17, 2014, 7:55 PM

Even though you're not saying it, I know that you really like Debbi a lot. Even with all of our foibles, we humans know that you cats choose which ones of us you want to live with, and you chose to give her the privilege of your presence, emoticon :smile:

bestwriter wrote on September 17, 2014, 8:28 PM

I wish Lolly jumped into my lap too. He is a stray but slowly making his way to being a home cat. http://personapaper.com/article/12180-lolly-has-crossed-all-limits

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 18, 2014, 12:30 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. We're cats. We accept bribes. Shovel out the treats. ;)

bestwriter wrote on September 18, 2014, 12:38 AM

Lolly has discipline - thus far and no further. After he gets his fish, milk and a handful of pedigree that I rob from our pet doggie Preiti all is well with him. Slowly, slowly, catch the monkey (or Lolly) is my manta :)

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 18, 2014, 12:40 AM

This is Guiness. I like Debbi just fine. Especially when she gives me treats. Meow.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 18, 2014, 12:46 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Really? Cats have no problems with directions. Never mind that I just took a right and then a left and another left to get to Debbi via the other couch and end table--instead of simply stepping from the coffee table onto her leg--and then did a U-turn in her lap to face north (it's night time) when she gave me my last shot.

JanetJenson wrote on September 18, 2014, 1:54 AM

Guiness, my imaginary human is exactly the same, except for the part about the shots. Fortunately I, Poof the Cat, have never had one of those. My late sister, an orange cat had to have those shot, though, and then she got lucky as the vet was able to adjust her diet and she stopped having to take them. Unfortunately she is no longer with us. But I must say that Janet Ann doesn't know right from left either. She says things like "Turn right here" when she means "Turn left right here." Makes my head swim.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 18, 2014, 5:38 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. Oh, dear, Poof, how confusing! I hope you don't have to drive her around much with directions like that.

I am on half the insulin now that I started out on. Diet plays a huge part. Just a little bit of kitty junk food, and the corn in it makes my sugar go sky high. I do love it, though. Debbi still keeps a little on hand because it's a quick way to get my blood glucose up in a hurry if I get hypoglycemic. I do wish I could eat more of it, but I have to try to stay healthy.

JanetJenson wrote on September 19, 2014, 3:27 AM

I just turn the GPS up really loud and ignore Janet when I driver her around. In addition to drowning her out, it lets her know my route so that she doesn't have any excuse for saying "Just where do you thing you are going?" Congrats on getting the insulin halved. WTG!

DorothyGale wrote on September 19, 2014, 6:48 PM

I have a friend who has trouble with right and left, too ... when giving directions in the car, her hubby points the way she should go. So, Guiness, your mom is not the only one! :)

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 19, 2014, 8:08 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I hear directional challenges are common in humans. That must be why most of them are so lost without a cat around.

allen0187 wrote on September 20, 2014, 1:50 AM

Guiness, make sure Debbi doesn't read this or you'll be having extra shots... in your veins!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on September 20, 2014, 4:27 PM

This is Guiness. Debbi knows perfectly well that she doesn't know right from left, and she openly admits that she doesn't know the alphabet either.

paigea wrote on October 6, 2014, 12:59 PM

I have to admit, I sometimes have to sing the alphabet song to think of which way to turn the dictionary.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on October 7, 2014, 12:05 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Debbi has to do that, too. And don't turn her loose in a dictionary or encyclopedia. She'll wander around, grazing here and there, and forget whatever it was she was supposed to be looking for. Half the time, she doesn't even open the right volume of the encyclopedia.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on October 20, 2014, 11:51 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. That's okay. Debbi is a good shot giver and it doesn't hurt a bit. Oh, but if you insist on feeling sorry for me, I can do pitiful and you can console me with treats.

PeggyWds wrote on December 31, 2014, 5:00 PM

At least you know what method works for both of you best. Haha! You are one smart cat, Guiness!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 1, 2015, 12:54 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I have to know extra to make up for what Debbi doesn't know.

BarbRad wrote on January 1, 2015, 9:47 PM

My husband thinks I have that same right / left problem. He likes to point, and I can never figure out just what he's pointing at.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on January 1, 2015, 10:54 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I don't bother pointing for Debbi. She's confused enough.

LilyDay wrote on February 3, 2015, 12:54 PM

Guiness, we humans do have our shortcomings. However, we are good at providing treats.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 4, 2015, 2:12 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. You've just be on an old post reading marathon today, haven't you? That's a big treat for me.

LilyDay wrote on February 4, 2015, 11:51 PM

Guiness, the Fuzzy Trio reminded me that there were quite a few posts from back before I became a member that we had not yet read.