The Process of Forgiveness
Learning to forgive has often been a challenge for me. For years I struggled with it. It wasn't that I didn't want to forgive, I just couldn't figure out how to do it. Every article or book I read on the subject focused on 'why' you should forgive, and how important it was to your mental and physical health. Yet, not one article ever said 'how' you go about forgiving. I could tell myself that I forgave someone, focus on their good qualities, tell myself that I released all anger, hurt and unforgiveness towards them, only to feel the old sting of hurt and anger rise up again. Sometimes within days or many years later.
Then it dawned on me that forgiving wasn't simply wanting and telling myself I had forgiven someone, it was a process. A process that doesn't happen overnight, but one that takes time. Its like taking one step forward and two back. If I work through the hurt when it comes up and accept it as something that was done that can't be undone, I'm better able to let it go. Forgiving doesn't mean we condone or agree with what another has done to hurt us, it means that we are willing to no longer allow it to hurt, control, or anger us. Just because someone isn't sorry for what they have done, doesn't mean I can't forgive them. Grudges hurt only the grudge holder.
Forgiving can be simple or hard depending on the intensity of hurt done to us. Once I realized it was a process that took time and effort it soon became easier.
What about you, have you ever had a hard time forgiving someone?
Forgiveness *#Forgiving *#Health
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